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Band 5.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation #reason
A great deal of persons
engage
Suggestion
engages
 in extended working
hours leaving
Accept comma addition
hours, leaving
few
Suggestion
little
 free
time
 for relaxation. Despite having advantages like increased wages,
this
 has more disadvantages. In
this
 essay, I will highlight the demerits of working for a long period daily. The
first
 and most important hazard of working overtime is its attendant health challenges. The human body is made
such
 that it needs about 6 to 8 hours of sleep daily.
This
 enables it to refresh, rejuvenate, replenish worn out tissues and re-energize itself to be able to fight diseases. But with protracted working hours
everyday
Suggestion
every day
, there is a little
time
 left for
this
. Thereby, the body is highly exposed to stress and susceptible to sickness. A report by the World Health Organisation on the impact of long work hours on the human health is a good example to buttress
this
 point. The publication says that any individual who consistently works for more than 10 hours
daily usually
Accept comma addition
daily, usually
 falls sick within a 4-
weeks
Suggestion
week
 window period.
Secondly
, working for long hours can affect family bond. Family cohesion needs quality
time
 to build and one who has little leisure
time
 will rarely create
time
 for
such
. Family bonding is vital in building a better society.
Therefore
, when it is lacking, the environment we live in is negatively affected.
For instance
, a certain boy was caught stealing in school and when
confronted he
Accept comma addition
confronted, he
 said he took to stealing because his parents rarely have his
time
 and as
such
 he feels unloved. In conclusion, the demerits accruing from people working for long hours with lesser
time
 for relaxation
outshines
Suggestion
outshine
 its merits.
Submitted by Chigozie on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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