Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #sense #competition #children #adults

Some men and women believe

that is

more beneficial to motivate kids for

competition

. While others feel

that is

better to become children supportive

in contrast

of rivalry. I believe that

competition

are

Suggestion

important for pupils’ to become smart and

practical but

Accept comma addition

practical, but

, cooperate are

more important

Suggestion

most important

for that, because it will helpful for teamwork like, class project, internship, group discussion, etc.

First

of all, numbers of people are frequently argued that the competitive natures are very helping

being one more than one

two

kids. The reason for

this

, while the children take a part into

competition they

Accept comma addition

competition, they

will learn a lot of real life things and develop a skill to face the challenges.

For example

, my friend has a stage

fear but

Accept comma addition

fear, but

, at the

last

year he was participating in dance

competition

program which is organized

into

Suggestion

our school.

Initially

, he felt

hesitation

Accept comma addition

hesitation, although

although

, his

team

members’ encouraged him and he was successfully

complete

Suggestion

completed

his dance. So, If

competition

is not exist

Suggestion

does not exist

doesn't exist

has not existed

in our life.

Thus

, we

are not strongly face

Suggestion

are not strongly facing

are not strongly faced

have not strongly faced

some challenges. The

argue is that taught the cooperation is more

important compare to development

Suggestion

important to compare the development

important compare to the development

competition

sense into

pupils

Suggestion

the pupils

Also

, I believe that learn of cooperative

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

to girls and boys are more beneficial because, when younger have a supportive attitude they will be able to working with

team

Suggestion

the team

a team

teams

and strangers

also

This

skill will help them to make their career as well as personal life like, making a

friends

Suggestion

friend

, work with

team

Suggestion

a team

the team

teams

, communication with unknown people, etc.

for

Suggestion

For

instance, by the

last

month’s article of times of India newspaper, the figure is described more than 90% company hired those people who have

team work ability

Suggestion

the team work ability

Then

, learned the skill of

cooperative

Suggestion

the cooperative

cooperatives

is must necessary

as a result

of, kids become more valuable adults. In conclusion, I feel that the value of cooperation is more useful for pupils to become

good

Suggestion

better

human beings, rather than encouragement for

competition

Submitted by ss on Thu Jul 16 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

316 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In some cultures, children’s are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

you have recently visited a city on vacation and stayed in a hotel. Write a letter to the manager about your stay. In your letter: Give details of your stay What were the high & low points of the hotel What are your suggestions; recommendations and / or complaints about the hotel

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

in many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside, Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?