Government investment in the visual arts, the kind you commonly see in art galleries, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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Through
taxation
Correct article usage
the taxation
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system, governments gain
money
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as a result
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, most of the portion should be deployed on public
services
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. Still, some
money
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is spent on
arts
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and crafts. I don't think spending a little portion on
arts
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and crafts is deleterious.
However
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, the majority of the portion should be used for improving public
life
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. From the viewpoint of spending
money
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on public
services
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, there are several benefits. To illustrate, we need to understand, what are the various public
services
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out there,
where
Correct word choice
which
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governments invest
money
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.
Firstly
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, the most cardinal one, in my opinion, is the education
sector
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. Education is inevitably needed to build up a healthy and better nation as it is fundamental to augment the cognitive skills of every individual.
Secondly
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, investment in
health
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the health
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sector
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is essential to create a stable health system to provide better health support to people
as well as
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to increase their quality of
life
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.
Thirdly
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,
transportation
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the transportation
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system plays a big role in
everyday
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the everyday
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life
Use synonyms
of our common mass.
Hence
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, there is no question of investing
money
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on
Change preposition
in
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that.
Besides
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, some other public
services
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include the infrastructural developments which are necessary for the
overall
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development of the country.
On the contrary
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,
arts
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demand some investment
also
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as it will be difficult for that
sector
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to maintain stability and progress without stimulation from
government
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the government
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.
Furthermore
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, the
arts
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have numerous forms
such
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as music, films, dance, books etc. Which are used to calm our mind and
get relaxation
Wrong verb form
relax
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.
Therefore
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, the
arts
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also
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help us to increase our quality of
life
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to some extent.
To sum up
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, public
services
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are important for
overall
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progress, thereby, governments should invest continuously
on
Change preposition
in
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that. But, it's not a waste of
money
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if some amount is spent on
Use synonyms
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
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sector
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as that
sector
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also
Linking Words
possesses some importance from a psychological point of view.
Submitted by Sunzid Ahmed on

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task response
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific point and supports it with relevant details and examples. Also, make sure to provide a clear position on the given statement and support it throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, but ensure that each paragraph follows a cohesive order and smoothly transitions to the next. Make sure the introduction and conclusion clearly present the main arguments and a final standpoint.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Tourist attraction
  • Generates revenue
  • Mental well-being
  • Social cohesion
  • Societal development
  • Quality of life
  • Economic stability
  • Budget constraints
  • Unemployment services
  • Emergency response infrastructure
  • Balanced approach
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