Government investment in the visual arts, the kind you commonly see in art galleries, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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Through
taxation
Correct article usage
the taxation
show examples
system, governments gain
money
as a result
, most of the portion should be deployed on public
services
. Still, some
money
is spent on
arts
and crafts. I don't think spending a little portion on
arts
and crafts is deleterious.
However
, the majority of the portion should be used for improving public
life
. From the viewpoint of spending
money
on public
services
, there are several benefits. To illustrate, we need to understand, what are the various public
services
out there,
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
governments invest
money
.
Firstly
, the most cardinal one, in my opinion, is the education
sector
. Education is inevitably needed to build up a healthy and better nation as it is fundamental to augment the cognitive skills of every individual.
Secondly
, investment in
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
sector
is essential to create a stable health system to provide better health support to people
as well as
to increase their quality of
life
.
Thirdly
,
transportation
Correct article usage
the transportation
show examples
system plays a big role in
everyday
Correct article usage
the everyday
show examples
life
of our common mass.
Hence
, there is no question of investing
money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
that.
Besides
, some other public
services
include the infrastructural developments which are necessary for the
overall
development of the country.
On the contrary
,
arts
demand some investment
also
as it will be difficult for that
sector
to maintain stability and progress without stimulation from
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
.
Furthermore
, the
arts
have numerous forms
such
as music, films, dance, books etc. Which are used to calm our mind and
get relaxation
Wrong verb form
relax
show examples
.
Therefore
, the
arts
also
help us to increase our quality of
life
to some extent.
To sum up
, public
services
are important for
overall
progress, thereby, governments should invest continuously
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
that. But, it's not a waste of
money
if some amount is spent on
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
sector
as that
sector
also
possesses some importance from a psychological point of view.
Submitted by Sunzid Ahmed on

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task response
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific point and supports it with relevant details and examples. Also, make sure to provide a clear position on the given statement and support it throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, but ensure that each paragraph follows a cohesive order and smoothly transitions to the next. Make sure the introduction and conclusion clearly present the main arguments and a final standpoint.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Tourist attraction
  • Generates revenue
  • Mental well-being
  • Social cohesion
  • Societal development
  • Quality of life
  • Economic stability
  • Budget constraints
  • Unemployment services
  • Emergency response infrastructure
  • Balanced approach
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