In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #message

Children in some countries are usually educated that they can accomplish any goal by putting enough

effort

. Personally,

although

this

message may lead to great achievements, making

effort

alone cannot guarantee

success

for everyone. Regarding the positivity, it has long been considered that

success

is a result of persistence and willingness to work hard to overcome every failure. The best example of

this

attitude comes from

Japan where

Accept comma addition

Japan, where

every child is encouraged to defeat any struggle by setting their mind to it. And today, Japan is not only a powerful and modern

country but

Accept comma addition

country, but

also

is a global leader in electronics industries.

As a result

, when children are equipped with the belief that anything will be achieved with enough

effort

, they are more likely to conquer the challenges and become successful.

Analyzing

Suggestion

Analysing

the negativity, just focusing on the connection between

effort

and

success

may bring a detrimental impact on children. In fact, when a child tries as hard as he can but still did not achieve the desired outcome, he may be depressed and consider himself a failure.

This

phenomenon is relatively popular in China. Every year

this

country registers a high rate of depressive symptoms in students after finishing the national college entrance

examination partly

Accept comma addition

examination, partly

because they cannot reach the expected goal

although

they spend several years working around the clock.

Consequently

, hard work is an essential ingredient but supposing it can guarantee

success

may lead to disastrous outcomes. In conclusion, despite controversial

Suggestion

determining the effects of teaching children that they can achieve anything by putting enough

effort

, obviously, you have to do more than just working hard to succeed.

Submitted by Sofie Bui on Thu Jul 16 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree of disagree?

More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in a foreign country. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.