IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people spend money on sport and cultural event. Do you think this is good or bad?

#people #money #sport #event
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These days, the colossal upsurge in the interest of people towards sporting and cultural events is quite alarming. While some see it as beneficial, others are of a contrary opinion. Personally, I completely agree that it is significant due to its individual and economic benefits. The remainder of
this
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 essay shall expatiate on my reasons.
To begin
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 with, events like sports and cultural activities are available to impact individuals. Entertainment is derived from these events, which helps to reduce tension and stress because, an increasing number of individuals are able to forget their worries and anxiety.
For example
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, a research conducted by a sport coach in England two years ago, revealed that 70% of youths hardly ever do without watching soccer because it helps lift the burden off their minds. Allied to
this
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, cultural events play vital roles in assisting inhabitants of a country towards embracing and appreciating their culture, resulting in in-depth Knowledge of their moral values and way of life.
Furthermore
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, it is economically important to engage in sports and culture. Countries around the world yearly allocate budgets for these activities because of the tourist attraction it fosters, thereby, generating income to the government.
For instance
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, according to a budget analyst in Nigeria, the annual Calabar festival is expected to generate just over Two hundred billion Naira in 2021.
Moreover
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, these financial proceeds can be utilized to restructure the necessary sectors in the country
such
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 as, repairing dilapidated roads and providing social amenities in order to enhance the nation's development. Overall, the anxiety for sport and cultural engagements is proliferating.
Although
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, some thinkers believe it is not ideal,
however
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, I totally support those who view it as crucial, due to its personal and societal plus-impact.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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