IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that the government should take care of disadvantaged people such as unemployed and homeless people. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #care
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people agree with the fact that the regime must take care of deprived people, namely, unemployed and homeless people. I completely accord with the view that the people who have chosen their state must be responsible and accountable enough to look after the needs and requirements of the people especially those who are disadvantaged and below the poverty line. The state, whose role is to cater the people of its country, must understand the fact that the impoverished and homeless people are not looked after by anyone,
however
Linking Words
 they play a major role in the growth of any bucolic. All countries, whether developing or developed, rely majorly on an agricultural sector for its economic growth and to relish among other nations.
Thus
Linking Words
, the authority must employ more people in the agricultural sector as both men and women and especially the destitute can participate and can contribute to the GDP (gross national product) of the rustic.
Besides
Linking Words
, the law must take the fact into consideration that the homeless people, who are a part of the agrarian and serve the provincial, must be facilitated with the basic needs of life like cottage, clothes, water, etc. Today, even the human rights and international committees have failed to endure the needs and requirements of the destitute and those who are below the poverty line.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the politics of every nation must handle the situation immaculately as they have been chosen to alleviate the problems and difficulties faced by the people. In the conclusion, it must be kept in mind that the growth of any country heavily depends on the number of people employed in all sectors of the economy as it increases the GDP of the country.
As a result
Linking Words
, the government must take adequate measures to support the indigent and
hence
Linking Words
 benefit by employing them in various sectors.
Submitted by Marya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: