Some people believe that it is essential to include Physical Education in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #education #curriculum #children #time #subjects

There are individuals who believe that it is really important to keep

Physical Education

Suggestion

the Physical Education

in schools. Others believe that children should

instead

dedicate more

time

on academic subjects. In my opinion, PE in schools is a necessary measure.

Unfortunatelly

Suggestion

Unfortunately

, a large amount of kids leads unhealthy lifestyles. They spend too much

time

on the internet and don't get enough physical activity.

Furthermore

, their food choices are questionable to say the least. Kids enjoy fast food and sweets, that paired with little to none physical activity leads to high risks of obesity. It's a problem that more and more children and parents have to face. I believe, that one of the ways to combat it is PE in schools, which will teach students the importance of a healthy lifestyle.

Moreover

, some kids are not meant for the academics and I think it's important to give them an ability to nurture their talents

for

Suggestion

sports, which they might not get

otherwise

, as sports can be quite an expensive hobby.

On the other hand

, academic subjects seem more important than Physical Education. For most of

students

Suggestion

the students

that's what will give them a pass to a brighter future and allow them to go into their dream jobs. It's understandable that students, as well as their parents, will want to focus entirely on those subjects.

Hovewer

Suggestion

However

, I think that in

school there's

Accept comma addition

school, there's

plenty of

time

for both.

Also

, PE is a good

time

for students to relieve the stress

that is

put on them by academic pressure, and to simply have fun.

Moreover

, it is scientifically proven that our brains perform better, if we engage in physical activity. To conclude, I believe that balance in school life is important. There is enough

time

to take part in Physical Education lessons without it having a negative effect on

childrens

Suggestion

children's

children

academic performance.

Furthermore

, physical

activitiy

any specific behavior

activity

can even prove helpful when it comes to academic success.

Submitted by Julia Rahn on Fri Jul 17 2020

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
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4 paragraphs

318 words

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Lexical resource: 4.0

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Grammatical Range: 4.0

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Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

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Some people believe that it is essential to include Physical Education in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Students should be primarily taught academic subjects so that they can pass exams, and practical skills such as cooking should not be taught. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that other media are better sources of news. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Large members of visitors can endanger ancient archeological sites such as Machu Plcchu. In your opinion, is it more important to try to preserve such sites or allow public access to them?