Some people believe that money is important to bring happiness in life,while others believe that having spare time is More important to bring happiness

Money
plays an important role in everyone's
life
.
people
Suggestion
People
cannot survive with
money
.
nowdays
Suggestion
Nowadays
Nowdays
people want to earn more and more
money
to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
their dreams.In subsequent paragraphs
,
Accept space
,
shall delve deeper into my personal perspective. The
first
and foremost
,
Accept space
,
these
days
Suggestion
days, money
days moneys
days moneys moneys
money
plays
Suggestion
play
is playing
vital role in human
life
.
however there
Accept comma addition
However, there
However there
are many advantages of
money
.
Firstly
, everyone is eager to earn more and more
money
to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
their requirements.In these days youngster's pursue lots of work and do
over
work done in addition to regular working hours
overtime
time
work because they want to upgrade their
life style
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyle
.If people want to afford a luxury
life
style they have do work hard to achieve
there
of them or themselves
their
goals
.
Accept space
.
Today's trend people follow a successful person and they
also
want to be the same.
For example
, due to
covid
having or marked by a curve or smoothly rounded bend
curved
covered
-19 people are frustrated
in
Suggestion
with
their
life
.
they
Suggestion
They
depend on others to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
their basic needs because they have no
money
by
Suggestion
with
groceries and meditations.After looking their
grevences
a resentment strong enough to justify retaliation
grievances
people are encouraged to save
money
for their future. At the
logger head
a stupid person; these words are used to express a low opinion of someone's intelligence
loggerhead
,
Accept space
,
some people argue that
money
is not important because they believe that having leisure
time
more important to bring more happiness.Some people do the only
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
their basic needs.They do not want to earn more
money
because they think that spending leisure
time
with their families is more predominant.On the other
sid
a place within a region identified relative to a center or reference location
side
, youngster's spend
time
to pursue their hobbies
such
playing and watching.
Morever
in addition
Moreover
,
Accept space
,
today's trend people go outside with their family for entertainment like travel and picnic. In conclusion,
money
is important in everyone's
life
.
Accept space
.
It plays
centrel role
Suggestion
a central role
central role
too see upper paragraphs.
Submitted by Guri Gill on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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