IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that the government should take care of disadvantaged people such as unemployed and homeless people. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #care
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that the jobless and homeless people ought to be concerned with ministry.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with
this
Linking Words
 assertion because it will reduce the cases of crimes and government has enough resources to help them.
First
Linking Words
 of all, crime cases will decrease if one’s has not much unemployed or homeless people in their country. People who are homeless and laid-off, they could not earn money by themselves as their self-reliance is very low. For
this
Linking Words
 reason, a low self-reliance, they might choose to rob the bank or steal other’s money to maintain their life. A recent study found that, countries like Bangladesh and South Africa, who has most people that were jobless and homeless, have a higher possibility of occurring the criminal cases.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the government has a strong ability to help those people who genuinely need help. The state can provide the homeless an accommodation to live in and demand them to earn money so that they can survive by themselves and
also
Linking Words
 have ability to pay the accommodation’s fees back to ministry by themselves.
Besides
Linking Words
, for the jobless people, the politics can provide them some nation’s job like some office works in state building. Other than that, not only those needed help received advantages, but one’s economy will be improved as there are low number of unemployed. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 essay affirms that the ministry should take a good concern of those laid-off and homeless people of giving them some helpful resource like houses and encourage them to strive hard for themselves.
Hence
Linking Words
, one’s safety problem and the economy will be solved dramatically.
Submitted by fai on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: