It is becoming increasingly expensive for museums to be open to the public.what would be the best solution to keep them open, in your opinion

5.0 / 9

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Introduction

History is a study of past events,

particularly of humans

Suggestion

particularly humans

. I think museums are the most approachable way through which people become aware of the ancient process.

However

Linking Words

, the cost and expenditure to keep and its opening hours are becoming difficult. There seem to be two main causes of

this

Linking Words

, and several possible solutions, as we will explain here.

Body paragraph 1

Perhaps the main cause is the lack of investment or funding for infrastructure. The exorbitant cost for maintenance and preserving the vast antiques and ancient models, maps, giant framed pictures and so on.

This

Linking Words

means value of

this

Linking Words

expenditure and preservation is incurred through the visitors. A

further

Linking Words

cause seems to be the overcrowding in cities, whereby people damages the public property while visiting either by the children or profession.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the photographers click the pictures and explore the authenticity of past event to

outer world

Suggestion

the outer world

Thus

Linking Words

, it leads to

lost

a large number or amount

lots

of interest in these particular buildings to watch it lively. That means that an already stretched system, is often pushed to a critical point, causing cancellations and immediate rise in

price

Suggestion

the price

of tickets in museums.

Body paragraph 2

Regarding potential solutions, probably the main remedy would be to encourage investment in better development of these art institutions,

for example

Linking Words

through subsidies or public private partnerships.

Besides

Linking Words

, the people should respect the valuable resources gathered by these bodies by not providing any harm

also

Linking Words

prohibiting the camera inside the museums. Another solution is government should give help to maximize longer hours so that department of the museum will be less worried as well as welcome many of the visitors with reasonable prices.

This

Linking Words

enhance

Suggestion

enhances

the network and fosters a sense of civic pride, to everyone's benefit.

Conclusion

To pen down, it seems that outdated infrastructure and overcrowding are the key factors behind the plummeted prices frustrations. Possible solutions would involve better funding, and

also

Linking Words

innovations in ways of working and imposing restrictions on visitors to cut the burden on the system.

abhishek patel

Jul 18, 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

5.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

326 words

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