IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that increasing communication usage of computers and mobile phones by young people has had a negative effect on their reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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In the present scenario, transmitting via the
Internet
Use synonyms
 by using electronic gadgets is becoming
more
Add an article
a more
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 and more popular trend. A lot of individuals argue that automation has created detrimental effects on the person's reading and writing
skills
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. I partially agree with
this
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 notion. All views regarding
this
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 will be discussed
further
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. There are numerous advantages for young people to use advanced automation
for improving
Change preposition
to improve
show examples
 their writing and reading
skills
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. To commence with, the first and foremost merit is that in terms of reading, it creates convenient conditions for youngsters to read books and magazines. To illustrate, computers and mobile phones are connected to the
Internet
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 and it provides adequate information.
Due to
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
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,
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
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 can easily improve their
skills
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 via a single touch on their cell phones.
To
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For
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 exemplify, YouTube and brainy apps are now in trend, mortals can improve their style of writing by using these applications.
Moreover
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, teenagers can enhance their writing
skills
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 and improve their idea generation with the help of
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Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it seems worthwhile for youngsters to improve their
skills
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 by using advanced machinery and they can
get
Verb problem
apply
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achieved
Wrong verb form
achieve
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 a good score. Turning to the other side, there are some drawbacks of advanced machinery.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in terms of reading, young
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 are confused by complex structures and inaccurate data sources. It is well clarified from the study that a huge number of websites and information on the
Internet
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 are incorrect sometimes and it has created bad effects on children's behaviour.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are some programs
such
Linking Words
 as Microsoft
office
Capitalize word
Office
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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installed to fix the mistakes automatically.
However
Linking Words
, youth does not have any time to tackle the issue and have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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faults
in
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at
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 other
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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.
To sum up
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,
although
Linking Words
 there are some drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
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 interacting on the
Internet
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throughout
Change preposition
through
show examples
 computers and mobile phones. I personally believe that
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 plays an integral role in people's reading and writing
skills
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,but they need to use
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
 a limited way.

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task response
The essay provides a partial agreement with the notion that increasing communication usage of computers and mobile phones has had a negative effect on reading and writing skills. The introduction sets up the discussion and the main points are developed in the body paragraphs. However, more specific examples and clear analysis of the negative effects would strengthen the response.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is logical, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The ideas are generally well-connected and the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of coherence and cohesion. To improve, the writer could use more linking words and phrases to enhance the organization and flow of ideas.
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