IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Global warming is not caused by human activity. Changes in average temperatures throughout all climate zones are a normal phenomenon. Therefore, countries need not take any actions to combat global warming that would negatively impact their economies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#activity #changes #temperatures #climate #zones #phenomenon #countries #actions #combat #impact #economies
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Global warming
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 substantially increased with every passing day, and it's an undeniable fact that human activities are responsible for global warming. In my opinion, the
Government
Use synonyms
 should have to take action to curb those human activities which are responsible for global warming. Despite the economic loss, human
health
Use synonyms
 protection is the most important;
therefore
Linking Words
, global warming should be mitigated. Global warming is negatively affecting human
health
Use synonyms
.The emission of carbon dioxide and many other harmful substances from burning fossil fuel is a direct threat to the human and animal respiratory tract from mouth to lungs. In some instances, many
people
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 can develop lung cancer
due to
Linking Words
 regularly inhaling the poisonous fumes daily; thereby,the quality of life becomes compromised, which is eventually responsible for reducing the individual's longevity. That's why I believe the
Government
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 has to focus on enhancing its citizen
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
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 despite working on strengthening the nation's
economy
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
Government
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 has to legitimate
people
Use synonyms
 to service their vehicles in a timely fashion to reduce dangerous gas emissions. And in case
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can't afford their regular car maintenance regularly, the state should offer the services with subsidized rates, because human life is more precious than the country's
economy
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. In many underdeveloped countries where the garbage disposal and recycling methods are not
exercising
Wrong verb form
exercised
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 correctly,
people
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 still burn their garbage for disposal. Inappropriate garbage disposal is again a hazardous phenomenon and impacts human
health
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 directly.
For example
Linking Words
,
as a result
Linking Words
 of research, Kuala Lumpur's and Madrid's dweller still incinerated their waste, which is inappropriate, and in many developed countries, it's prohibited.To curb
this
Linking Words
 predicament the nation has to spend some money from
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 coffers to launch some helpful initiatives
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
educational sessions to educate
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 public regarding the drawbacks of burning fossil fuels; Filming the atrocities causes of global warming to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
health
Use synonyms
 to show films to
people
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; organize the educational seminar in public libraries; start providing incentives like monetary benefits.I believe that a person's life is more important than the
economy
Use synonyms
 because
people
Use synonyms
 are responsible for any state's
economy
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. Ultimately, I agree that global warming is because of human activities;
therefore
Linking Words
, the
Government
Use synonyms
 should step up to mitigate
this
Linking Words
 life-threatening problem by educating
people
Use synonyms
 and
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 some
Fix the agreement mistake
incentives
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incentive
Fix the agreement mistake
incentives
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 to them rather than
Wrong verb form
focusing
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focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
to boost
Change preposition
on boosting
show examples
 the country's
economy
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by drrsali110 on

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Task Achievement
The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task question, with relevant and specific examples to support the arguments. Make sure to address all aspects of the task question to achieve a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is mostly sound, with a well-structured introduction and conclusion. However, some paragraphs could be more tightly connected to enhance coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global warming
  • Climate change
  • Greenhouse gases
  • Deforestation
  • Industrialization
  • Ecological balance
  • Innovation
  • Sustainable development
  • Biodiversity
  • International cooperation
  • Green jobs
  • Unprecedented rate
  • Extreme weather events
  • Renewable energy sources
  • Carbon footprint
  • Fossil fuels
  • Environmental policy
  • Climate mitigation
  • Eco-friendly technologies
  • Economic impacts
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