Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?

#celebrities #money

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It is commonly believed that entertainers and sports athletes should be paid

high

Suggestion

higher

salaries as they gain their publicity through hard work

and dedication of years

Suggestion

and years of dedication

However

Linking Words

, I tend to believe that these people are paid in excess and I will be

analyzing

consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning

analysing

some reasons to support my claim.

Firstly

Linking Words

, essential professions other than entertainment or sport must not be underestimated. Jobs like teaching, medicine and

architecting

Suggestion

, too, require determination and studying at university throughout

years

Suggestion

the years

. But they have annual earnings which cannot sometimes be equal to that of celebrities for one endorsement in

Suggestion

the advertisement

. The lives of policemen, lifeguards or firefighters might stay at risk, which is rarely considered when it comes to payment. Admittedly, all these professionals should be rewarded with better remuneration. The aforementioned factors suggest that majority of payments need

reallocating

Suggestion

to reallocate

from

entertainment industry

Suggestion

the entertainment industry

to more vital fields.

Secondly

Linking Words

, celebrities do not always use their income wisely

although

Linking Words

they receive exorbitant amounts. To be more precise, they often waste money on amusement or spend it just to display their wealth.

For instance

Linking Words

, some movie stars or sportsmen tend to regularly buy expensive houses, the latest car models and the like.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, many actors and singers enjoy arranging ornate parties to gather other famous people

instead

Linking Words

of distributing

this

Linking Words

prosperity to the needy. These all expenditures require

enormous amount

Suggestion

an enormous amount

of money. Above all, it is really offensive when they neglect the lower-class people because of the vanity based on their reaches. In conclusion, I opine that constant work of genuine professionals for developing our society deserve much more financial support than almost worthless expenditure of celebrities.

Submitted by sdilrabo1986 on Sun Jul 19 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

lucrative
revenue
sponsorships
merchandise
career longevity
market demand
economic contribution
role models
influence
entertainment industry

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Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?

Fully explain your ideas

Students should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass exams, and skills such as cooking or dressing should not be taught. To what extent do you agree/disagree?

With the technological development, some people think technology reduce crime, but some people think it encourage crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree and give your own opinion

Revenue sources and expenditures of a USA Charity in one year,2016

The internet has changed the way information is consumed and shared among people. What are some serious issues a person can face associated with the internet, and what solutions can be implemented?

Innovation is often driven by the pursuit of profit and economic growth. However, some argue that it should prioritize addressing social and environmental issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.