Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#today’s #schools #students #world

With increasingly globalized world, our life became significantly dependent of financial relationships.

Everyday

Suggestion

Every day

we need to deal with anything that involves

money

, once is almost impossible stay away from situations which is related it.

Therefore

, financial basic

knowledge

should be one of the subjects in schools. The study about financial survival is a controversial theme that some groups of people

defend

clearly characterized or delimited

defined

something

Suggestion

Something

that should be taught at schools. Financial

knowledge it

Accept comma addition

knowledge, it

should be a mandatory subject

Suggestion

schools

Suggestion

Schools

like math and science,

for example

. The school supplies the children with

basics

Suggestion

basic

teachings as for

schools

Suggestion

school

degrees as for their lives.

However

, financial

knowledge

is probably understood as

subject

Suggestion

a subject

that is

not important to children because they do not deal with

money

diary and their parents do it, but it is extremely controversial, once is something we face every single day in adult life. For

this

reason, schools are essential to teach about

basics

Suggestion

basic

finances. The children would have

knowledge

how to survive with their incomes, when they become adults.

Consequently

, many of them would not have financial troubles and they would have learned how to invest

money

. Even

this

seems negligible; in a great group it is relevant for economic country. In the other hand, some groups of people believe that financial

knowledge it

Accept comma addition

knowledge, it

is no essential to children for the reason of

this

knowledge

for adults,

then

schools should not be involved with

this

. The argumentation is that the

finances

Suggestion

finance

topics are self-study or

families

Suggestion

family's

teachings.

Thus

, is

knowledge

each one should learn by themselves according to their

interesting

Suggestion

interests

and financial situation. As a conclusion, financial education is never approached as during primary school as during academic graduation. Neither graduation teaches the students about finances in their professions.

Thus

, each one

learn

Suggestion

learns

finances by themselves and sometimes face many

money

troubles because they do not have

appropriate

Suggestion

the appropriate knowledge

knowledge

about financial education if it would be learned before

Submitted by Vinicius Castro on Sun Jul 19 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

321 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Human activities have negative effects on plants and animals all over the world. Some people think it is too late to do something about it. Others think there is still some time to take actions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

As global trade increase, many goods including those we use in daily basis are produced in another country and have to be transport long distance. Do benefit of this trend outweigh disadvantages?

The government should ban smoking in all public places, even though this would restrict some other people's freedoms.

Modern lifestyles are completely different from the way people lived in the past. Some people think that changes have been very positive, while others believe they have been negative. Discuss both these points of views and give your opinion.

Today much of the food people eat gets transported from farms that are thousands of miles away. Some people believe it would be better for the environment and the economy if people only consumed food produced by local farmers. Would the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?