Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation

Nowadays, a majority of people are working overtime without paying attention towards their hobbies. I opine that,

although

working extra hours provides some materialistic benefits, it

possess

Suggestion

possesses

more disadvantages.

To begin

with the bright side, if anyone is spending more time in an office,

then

definitely he can earn more money than other people. Which secures a financial stability in his

life

and he can

also

achieve fame by getting

higher position

Suggestion

a higher position

in a company. On the flip side, doing

same work

Suggestion

the same work

all the time can lead people to be a victim of health related issues.

For instance

, sitting on the chair for

long period

Suggestion

a long period

long periods

and working in front of

computer screen

Suggestion

a computer screen

the computer screen

computer screens

can weaken someone's eyesight. There is

also

a possibility to suffer from a mental illness like stress and anxiety by pondering on

same problems

Suggestion

the same problems

for long hours.

In addition

, as being a human we

also

have a responsibility towards our family members, friends and society and they are always seeking

for

Suggestion

our attention. So, by not spending some

cozy

enjoying or affording comforting warmth and shelter especially in a small space

cosy

moments with them your relation can be compromised and you can be a victim of loneliness in the

life

Moreover

, as excessive overtime

drain

Suggestion

drains

our energy as well as creativity, it can head to a reduced productivity an result into a job dissatisfaction. By which, one may put a threat in a career.

For example

, I have seen a downfall in a progress of my friends and family members just because of being a workaholic and avoiding to look for a

lesiour

time available for ease and relaxation

leisure

activities

Suggestion

activity

. To conclude, though there are significant benefits of being workaholic, it's downside outweighs the positive impact. So, I opine that people should maintain a balance between personal and professional

life

Which

Suggestion

Witch

H can lead them towards healthy, happy and creative

life style

a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes

lifestyle

Submitted by shaunak mirani on Sun Jul 19 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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Sentence 1 - Summary
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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

work-life balance
mental well-being
burnout
stress relief
productivity
economic growth
career progression
skill enhancement
quality time
financial security
leisure activities
physical health
personal relationships
stress-related illnesses

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Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays, many people prefer to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reason for this? Do you think it is a positve or negative development?

the plants below show a public park when it first opend in 1920 and the same park today.

Some people think that young people should follow older people’s examples while others think it is good for young people to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Everyone should adopt a vegetarian diet because eating meat can cause serious health problems. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that all unviersity students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.