IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some believe that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#believe #money #education #computers #teachers
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the view of some people
money
 spend by schools or colleges should be mainly used on better computers while others oppose
this
 view and believe to use that
money
 on teachers.Let us look at both of these views.
To begin
 with,
money
 spend on better computers can benefit the students in many ways.Having computers with the latest technology can help students to collect information faster. These can be extremely convenient to use as they can be accessed by the students whenever they have problems.Computers can help students when teachers are unable to help or clear doubts of
students
Suggestion
the students
.Students here can get various answers to their queries and can select whichever they find the easiest.Computers help students be self resilient.As we all know computers are present and future of technology, we should try and make students aware of
this
 technology at a young age as
this
 will definitely help them in the future.
However
,
money
 can be spent on teachers as they are the building pillars in a student's life.
Money
 spend on teachers will never be a waste as they can always be useful to students.Teachers with their extraordinary can help students to excel in their subjects.They not only help students to excel academically, but prepare students for the real world. When
money
 is spent on teachers by raising their salaries and by providing them other various perks it not only motivate them but
also
 boost them to teach students better. In my opinion, wealth should we wisely spend on both computers as well as teachers according to the situation.
Moreover
, I feel
money
Suggestion
the money
 should be spend more on teachers as compared to the computers as they help students to overcome every obstacle in their life. Teachers can be a better choice to spend funds as they can always be trusted, unlike the computers as we cannot completely trust online users.
Submitted by khushi rawat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: