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Band 5.5

Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money.

#people #money #factor #happiness
We live in a world
that is
 surrounded by sorrows, suffering, grief and
happiness
. We often try to make our souls happy through spiritual deeds and materialistic things. Few individuals of a society believe that
money
 is vital in bringing
happiness
 to life;
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 thinks that
money
 is not associated with monetary funds. I personally believe that not all, but
money
 does play some role in bringing
happiness
.
One
 the
one
hand
, people commit their lives in earning a huge sum of
money
 because they consider
money
 and
happiness
 go
hand
 in
hand
 and for them, life without
money
 will be miserable and
one
 cannot enjoy to the fullest extent.
For instance
, people who find
happiness
 in travelling different places, wearing branded clothes, purchasing expensive and latest gadgets or having expensive dining would not be able to enjoy those without
money
. Another example is
of
Suggestion
about
 parents, whose child is severely sick and needs expensive medication or treatment abroad, with wealth, parents can buy
happiness
 for their child.
For
Suggestion
To
 them, merriment and capital funds are closely related to each other and
one
 cannot image to live without it.
On the other
hand
, there are several plausible arguments which say that
money
 has not relation with cheeriness. People believe that
money
 cannot remove their sorrows and sufferings.
For instance
, a mother who has lost her child in war,
money
 is of no value because her grievance and tears cannot be wiped through financial aid and to make her glee. Soothing words and sympathy can calm her down and bring some elation. To conclude, the above
provide
Suggestion
provides
 solid arguments in favour of both views. I personally believe that
money
give
Suggestion
gives
 lots of
benefit
Suggestion
benefits
 to people in terms of their status and
lifestyle but
Accept comma addition
lifestyle, but
one
 should not equate
money
 as the vital factor in bringing
happiness
.
Submitted by SHIV DESAI on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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