Many people believe that we should protect all wild animals while others believe we should just protect some of them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Wild
animals
Use synonyms
, which are on the verge of extinction, are preserved in zoos and
also
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protected by applying strict laws.
Although
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this
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protection for rare species is supported by few people, there are others
along with
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me who believe that not only endangered species but
also
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all wild
animals
Use synonyms
must be preserved.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both the standpoints and justify my viewpoint. The most compelling argument to endorse the opinion of those who do not support the idea
to preserve
Change preposition
of preserving
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all wild
animals
Use synonyms
due
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to
Change preposition
that
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requires a large amount of money.
Although
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it is difficult
that
Change preposition
to
show examples
maintaining
Wrong verb form
maintain
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animals
Use synonyms
in zoos in order to save them from extinction is expensive.
For instance
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, Melbourne
zoo
Capitalize word
Zoo
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, one of the famous zoos in Australia, spends a lot of money to feed all the
animals
Use synonyms
which
Correct word choice
that
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they are protecting. Consider if they have to preserve all the wild
animals
Use synonyms
,
this
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budget would increase to the point where it could affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human needs.
Therefore
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, these funds should be allocated for humanitarian issues, as many
third world
Add a hyphen
third-world
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countries are still struggling against starvation and deadly diseases.
However
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, others think that all wild
animals
Use synonyms
must be protected. The main reason behind
this
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view is that all of the wild
animals
Use synonyms
play an important role in the ecosystem. Should there be one of these species extinct,
then
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the ecosystem would be unbalanced and it might have a serious effect on the environment.
Moreover
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, the existence of these wild
animals
Use synonyms
is beneficial for human beings.
For instance
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, scientists have found that some wild
animals
Use synonyms
could be used as a medical treatment,
such
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as the blood of a snake which can be used to heal skin diseases.
Furthermore
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, all wild
animals
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are important and should be equally protected. In conclusion, we should save every wild animal
that is
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still present in the world. As
,
Remove the comma
apply
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every animal in one way or another is important to maintain balance in
ecosystem
Add an article
the ecosystem
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, all should be protected.
Submitted by Waqar Allahi on

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task response
Ensure that every point made in the essay is directly relevant to the topic and task requirements.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, using linking words and transitions to improve coherence and cohesion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • conservation status
  • ecological significance
  • holistic approach
  • endangered species
  • natural heritage
  • unforeseen negative impacts
  • economically non-viable
  • prioritization
  • ecosystem balance
  • conservation efforts
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