Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #arts

Suggestion

opinion of some people the government is using the money

Suggestion

neccessary

absolutely essential

necessary

items on

art

products.

Firstly i

Accept comma addition

Firstly, I

Firstly I

agree to it on a some

extent

Accept comma addition

extent, however

however

the olden

art

represents the history of our nation.

For

instance if

Accept comma addition

instance, if

the

art work

photographs or other visual representations in a printed publication

artwork

is not cherished by the people in the

country

Accept comma addition

country, then

then

the amount invested in it should be used elsewhere where it is more beneficial and is

also

appreciated by the people. Even though

refers to the speaker or writer

believe the ancient

art

potrays

portray in words

portrays

the intelligence and creativity that was alive during those times.

In addition

art

brings calmness in

ones

Suggestion

one's

nature and make people think out of the box and give them a platform to display their talent in any manner. Through

art

one can speak their

heart

Suggestion

hearts

out

hence

in my review the

art

should be preserved and

also

encourage the young ones to do more. I agree that

art

is not as profitable in financial terms as we look through it in a business point of view. I think there should be a foundation made and handled by the government for

art

and events should be conducted under it

Suggestion

with

the money they have gained from the people to preserve it.

For

example it

Accept comma addition

example, it

should be prioritized that the

necessay

absolutely essential

necessary

items that are needed in the nation should come

first

furthermore they

Accept comma addition

furthermore, they

should decrease the rate of poverty and

than

subsequently or soon afterward (often used as sentence connectors)

then

support

art

. The regular supplements shouldn't be replaced with a luxury. It contrasts in every situation and the institution should work

accordingly

and take the side which is more heavier according to the condition and hope to keep a balance between both.

Submitted by Karina Patel on Tue Jul 21 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

enriching society
promoting cultural understanding
development of talent
creative industries
economic benefits
generate revenue
cultural heritage
identity
prioritize spending
needs of the majority

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Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Is fast food to blame for obesity in society or is gaining too much weight the responsibility of the individual? What factors contribute to obesity? Why do you think that children are becoming obese?

People have to spend more and more time to travel their homes for jobs and study. What are the reasons? How can wo solve this problem?

Nowadays more and more people read news on the Internet. Nevertheless, newspapers will remain an important source of news and information for the majority of people. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?