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Band 5.5

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #arts
As an opinion of some people the government is using the money on necessary items on
craft
 products.
Firstly i
Accept comma addition
Firstly, I
Firstly I
 agree to it on a some extent,
however
 the olden
craft
 represents the history of our nation.
For instance
, if the
craft
 work is not cherished by the people in the country,
then
 the amount invested in it should be used elsewhere where it is more beneficial and is
also
 appreciated by the people. Even though I believe the ancient
craft
 portrays the intelligence and creativity that was alive during those times.
In addition
craft
Suggestion
to craft
 brings calmness in one's nature and make people think out of the box and give them a platform to display their talent in any manner. Through
craft
 one can speak their hearts out
hence
 in my review the
craft
 should be preserved and
also
 encourage the young ones to do more. I agree that
craft
 is not as profitable in financial terms as we look through it in a business point of view. I think there should be a foundation made and handled by the government for
craft
Suggestion
crafters
 and events should be conducted under it with the money they have gained from the people to preserve it.
For example
, it should be prioritized that the necessary items that are needed in the nation should come
first
,
furthermore they
Accept comma addition
furthermore, they
 should decrease the rate of poverty and
then
 support art. The regular supplements shouldn't be replaced with a luxury. It contrasts in every situation and the institution should work
accordingly
 and take the side which is more heavier according to the condition and hope to keep a balance between both.
Submitted by Karina Patel on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
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