IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Pressure on the school and university students is increasing and students are Pushed to Hard work when they are young. Do you think it is a positive or negative development.?

#pressure #school #university #students #work #development
It is impossible that the load on school and university students is expanding and they have to effort very hard at a young age.
This
 situation has both positive and negative effects. In
this
 situation, a need arises to create balance between both, in which parents and teachers have a big role. In the below paragraph. I shall discuss the issue in brief. The pressure on students is increasing because of many reasons.
Firstly
, the main reason of anxiety is that we belong to a highly competitive era. Students need to get good scores to get into a good colleges and universities. But
also
 higher education is very expensive and students need to do part time industry or job to collect enough money for their college or university fee.
Accordingly
, sometimes parents force their children to adopt those subjects in which child has no interest.
This
also
 creates load or stress on the student's mind.
However
,
This
 is a positive development because working hard from the beginning makes them pre-mature to tackle the every situation. They do not coddle in any violence and crime.
This
 is because they do not have time for
such
 unfruitful activities. If they task hard in the early years they will develop their knowledge and personality, will have a happy and pleased life. It is a negative development because it leads to stress and duty. Sometimes, students cannot balance between struggle and leisure time, which leads to boredom.
Also
, students face failures or cannot cope up with the pressure and their minds divert to suicidal tendencies, because they are forced to choose a course against their wishes and aims. Overall, It can be concluded that education is a very important part of the life, but if we pressurised children to do it at a young age, they do not afford that much stress and hardship. So, it affects negatively to their life and mental abilities.
Submitted by Deep Kaur on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: