IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that computer skills should be added to primary subjects in elementary school such as reading, writing and math. How far do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #computer #skills #subjects #school #math
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Majority
Suggestion
The majority
 of the people have
common belief
Suggestion
a common belief
the common belief
 that basic
computer
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 needs to be taught as an important subject in elementary
school
Use synonyms
. I agree
with
Suggestion
to
 the provision of the
computer
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 since the early stage of schooling because the use of
Use synonyms
computer
Suggestion
computers
a computer
 in every profession has become the primary requirement. The
first
Linking Words
 reason for the introduction of
computer
Use synonyms
 science in primary
education
Use synonyms
 is that, the entire market has shifted to the
eWorld
everything that exists anywhere
world
. In other word we can say that the
computer
Use synonyms
 is not only limited to the information technology sector in
fact it
Accept comma addition
fact, it
 has become the necessity to perform the jobs like report making, computing, designing, advertising and
many
Suggestion
much
 more.
Linking Words
Therefore in
Accept comma addition
Therefore, in
 order to have
a successful career an
Suggestion
a successful career as an
 individual must possess the understanding of the application of
computer
Use synonyms
 in accordance with their professional requirement.
Linking Words
Hence to
Accept comma addition
Hence, to
 achieve
this
Linking Words
 basic learning about the use of
computer
Use synonyms
 need to be provided since schooling another possible reason is the communication through email unlike the early centuries the use of fax machine letter has gradually been started diminishing and started adopting the electronic path as we all are aware with the significance of the communication in our profession ,
therefore
Linking Words
 to make our communication effective fast and smooth we have started using computers
therefore
Linking Words
computer
Use synonyms
 need to be taught to pupil in their
school
Use synonyms
 as a mandatory subject. To conclude from my perspective
education
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 of
computer
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 needs to be included in elementary
school
Use synonyms
 to develop the understanding of children about
computer
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.
as
Suggestion
As
 it will be a crucial portion of their future
career
Accept comma addition
career, hence
hence
Linking Words
 I completely agree
to
Suggestion
with
computer
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
Submitted by Swamit Prasad on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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