International tourism brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants

#tourism #benefit #places #time #concern #impact #inhabitants

Nowadays, the number of youngsters involved in crimes is remarkably increasing. While

this

essay agrees with the idea that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults, is believed that there

also

many other penalties to impose on them.

First

and foremost, it is necessary to discipline young criminals. Adolescent offenders need to aware of the serious consequences of illegal actions that they did and take responsibility for that.

Therefore

, they will be repentant of their actions and would not relapse into crime in the future.

Secondly

, it is

also

fair to the victims and their family. They absolutely suffer a lot from these offences so they deserve to be treated impartially.

On the other hand

, is believed that it is better for juvenile criminals to be tried in different court from that for adults.

Firstly

, most of underage offenders are ill-educated and lack of knowledge about legislation.

Thus

, the government should provide them with law courses and improve their behaviour better.

This

solution

also prevent

Suggestion

also prevents

them from regained when they are back to the community.

Secondly

, adolescent delinquency can make contributions to the society

such

as taking care of elderly from nursing house, cleaning public areas, do charity at orphanages and so on.

This

soft punishment can help them to become more productive to the community and better for them to rehabilitate. In conclusion, stiff penalties can prevent the underage criminals.

However

, is believed that comprehensive education and chance should be offered to them.

Submitted by Linh Chu on Wed Jul 22 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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International tourism brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situations?

Computers and A.I. technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience ? Is this a positive or negative development ?

News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news? Would it be better if more good news was reported?

Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g.: goods, service, news) Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?