Some people think that main factors influencing a child’s development these days are things such as televisions, friends and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion

Our childhood plays a vital tole to mould a person's characteristic in a different way. Some would say that mates, music, televisions are the key factors behind shaping someone's personality traits while others believe that family still plays the main role. According to my opinion, there may be hundreds of different things that shape our infant age, but parents and other family members are the ones who really build our early days. Every
child
's grooming background is different because circumstances are not same for all. Companions usually play a very vital role to teach how to socialize. There are many examples, where we could see that our characters are deeply impacted by whom we are friend with.
On the other hand
, watching tv shows s are very attractive to the infants, and with the advancement of technology and economy almost everyone could afford a television these days. Various shows, cartoons make a great impact on a kid's mind as their brain starts to learn new things,
howeverhowever
despite anything to the contrary (usually following a concession)
however
however however
, it is noticed that often a
child
could not differentiate between good or bad shows on tv and that sometimes spoil them. According to a recent study, it shows that those few humans who used to listen music from an early stage, a substantial amount of growth in their mind's capacity is observed than others.
Nevertheless
, these can not be more important than a
child
's family. A kinder usually spends most of it's time with his mother and father and other close acquaintances. They usually try to follow the footsteps of the elders.
Moreover
, what a
child
learns from his or her parents, is usually determined what he or she will become in future as there are a saying which says "morning shows the day."
For example
, in my childhood, I always tried to learn new things from my parents and grandparents and if I did any mistake, they corrected me so that I can understand between right and wrong.
Additionally
, according to a research on social science, it is proven that family circumstance matters the most in
child
's life. Considering all aspects, there may be some important factors to shape a
child but
Accept comma addition
child, but
family is most important above all. I would suggest that the parents should spend as much time as possible with their sons or daughters in spite of their fast lifestyle and that would help to make our society better in future.
Submitted by fsfsf on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: