Some people believe that the best way to produce a happier society is to ensure that there are only small differences between the richest and the poorest members. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #society #differences #members

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To illustrate, the point said above, people nowadays think that the most feasible way of producing happiness in

the

Correct article usage

apply

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society is to ensure that there is a low contrast between the rich and the poorest members.

However

Linking Words

, I believe there is a broad difference between rich and poor.

Firstly

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, there is a financial imbalance between them as everyone knows wealth plays one of the key

role

Change to a plural noun

roles

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in life.

For example

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, even

though

Correct word choice

apply

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if a person is intelligent, smart or good looking those qualities aren't going to fill their stomach.

Secondly

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, there is a large amount of inequality in public

such

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as they subconsciously or unknowingly

differentiates

Correct subject-verb agreement

differentiate

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on the basis of

the

Correct article usage

apply

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appearance,

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due

Correct word choice

and due

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to that we don't even know how badly we might have hurt someone's feelings unintentionally.

Also

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

corrupt

world

Add a comma

world,

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the poor suffer.

For example

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, in some cases the rich pay more incentive and

corrupts

Wrong verb form

corrupt

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the process and

skips

Correct subject-verb agreement

skip

show examples

the line,

however

Linking Words

, the

poorer

Correct word choice

poor

show examples

obeys

Correct subject-verb agreement

obey

show examples

the system since, as their hands are tied in terms of power and advantages

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

although

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, each and everyone should obey the institution. So,

according to

Linking Words

this

Add a comma

this,

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I disagree a bit with it.

Thus

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, I think, a balance should be created.

Furthermore

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on the other hand

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, there are similarities,

specially

Replace the word

especially

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the basic needs of a human being are the same for the penurious

as well as

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the prosperous ones.

For instance

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such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

food,

Correct your spelling

clothes

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cloths

Correct your spelling

clothes

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and house. I,

therefore

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, agree with the definition on the

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

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point that it would create a nicer universe if we say that there is just a little diversity among them,

this

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would

also

Linking Words

bring

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mental peace for the necessitous and reduce their emotional baggage.

Hence

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it could be the best way to bring stability

Change preposition

show examples

the environment. To summarize, saying that won't bring a lot of change in their physical situation

Remove the comma

apply

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but could calm their brains and decrease their insecurity.

Thus

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, I believe it should be said out in

open

Correct article usage

the open

show examples

to bring a little change.

Submitted by Karina Patel on Thu Jul 23 2020

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Task Response

Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and provide a clear thesis statement that addresses the prompt. Ensure that your examples are relevant and support your main points effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on organizing your ideas more effectively. Consider using topic sentences to introduce each paragraph and ensure that your arguments flow logically from one to the next.

17
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

income inequality
distribution of wealth
social cohesion
social unrest
crime rates
economic equality
overall well-being
health outcomes
education outcomes
motivation
innovation
equal opportunities
wealth redistribution
economic growth
productivity

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Some people believe that the best way to produce a happier society is to ensure that there are only small differences between the richest and the poorest members. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Describe how your primary school education looks like?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building the live in. What are the reason for this? How can people research this?

Water scarcity is a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this? And what solutions can be done by individuals and the government?

Some believe that people today have no interests in maintaining the traditional culture of their country or region. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?