Some people believe that the best way to produce a happier society is to ensure that there are only small differences between the richest and the poorest members. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #society #differences #members

To illustrate, the point said above, people nowadays think that the most feasible way of producing happiness in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society is to ensure that there is a low contrast between the rich and the poorest members.

However

, I believe there is a broad difference between rich and poor.

Firstly

, there is a financial imbalance between them as everyone knows wealth plays one of the key

role

Change to a plural noun

roles

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in life.

For example

, even

though

Correct word choice

apply

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if a person is intelligent, smart or good looking those qualities aren't going to fill their stomach.

Secondly

, there is a large amount of inequality in public

such

as they subconsciously or unknowingly

differentiates

Correct subject-verb agreement

differentiate

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on the basis of

the

Correct article usage

apply

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appearance,

due

Correct word choice

and due

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to that we don't even know how badly we might have hurt someone's feelings unintentionally.

Also

, in

this

corrupt

world

Add a comma

world,

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the poor suffer.

For example

, in some cases the rich pay more incentive and

corrupts

Wrong verb form

corrupt

show examples

the process and

skips

Correct subject-verb agreement

skip

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the line,

however

, the

poorer

Correct word choice

poor

show examples

obeys

Correct subject-verb agreement

obey

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the system since, as their hands are tied in terms of power and advantages

Correct word choice

apply

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although

, each and everyone should obey the institution. So,

according to

this

Add a comma

this,

show examples

I disagree a bit with it.

Thus

, I think, a balance should be created.

Furthermore

on the other hand

, there are similarities,

specially

Replace the word

especially

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the basic needs of a human being are the same for the penurious

as well as

the prosperous ones.

For instance

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

food,

Correct your spelling

clothes

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cloths

Correct your spelling

clothes

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and house. I,

therefore

, agree with the definition on the

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

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point that it would create a nicer universe if we say that there is just a little diversity among them,

this

would

also

bring

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mental peace for the necessitous and reduce their emotional baggage.

Hence

it could be the best way to bring stability

Change preposition

show examples

the environment. To summarize, saying that won't bring a lot of change in their physical situation

Remove the comma

apply

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but could calm their brains and decrease their insecurity.

Thus

, I believe it should be said out in

open

Correct article usage

the open

show examples

to bring a little change.

Submitted by Karina Patel on Thu Jul 23 2020

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Task Response

Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and provide a clear thesis statement that addresses the prompt. Ensure that your examples are relevant and support your main points effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on organizing your ideas more effectively. Consider using topic sentences to introduce each paragraph and ensure that your arguments flow logically from one to the next.

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17Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

329 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

income inequality
distribution of wealth
social cohesion
social unrest
crime rates
economic equality
overall well-being
health outcomes
education outcomes
motivation
innovation
equal opportunities
wealth redistribution
economic growth
productivity

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Some people believe that the best way to produce a happier society is to ensure that there are only small differences between the richest and the poorest members. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people argue that restaurants should be required to disclose the nutritional information of the dishes they serve. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that modern games can help children develop a wide range of skills, but others argue that traditional games can be much better for developing such skills. TO what extent do you agree or disagree?

as countries gave developed there has been a trend towards smaller family sizes. why does this happen ? how does this affect society?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be a case. What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world, people share the same fashions, advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this?