IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that sport has an important role in society. Others, however, feel that it is nothing more than a leisure activity for some people.

Nowadays there
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been positive effects that
sport
Use synonyms
 has gained inhabitants of society.
Whereas
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sport
Use synonyms
 is not
essential
Add an article
an essential
show examples
 part of our life it needs for leisure activities.    first of all, it is undeniable
facts
Fix the agreement mistake
fact
show examples
 that there are some reasons why 
sport
Use synonyms
 is vital in society. One of the reasons is that
people
Use synonyms
 can be healthier
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than ever before. For
this
Linking Words
 reason
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
doctors are always recommending to
people
Use synonyms
 occupied with various types of sports like running, walking,
hiking
Correct word choice
and hiking
show examples
. Another reason is more injured inhabitants
more
Add a missing verb
have more
show examples
 problem for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to cure them so
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 do not need
waste
Fix the infinitive
to waste
show examples
 money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 injured residents in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free hospital.  
Obesit
Correct your spelling
Obesity
, heart attack, today has 
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
 decreased significantly
through
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
 the world because of 
sport
Use synonyms
. These days young generations often tend to sedentary activities
such
Linking Words
 as playing computer games
instead
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 encourage their children to do
Use synonyms
sport
Wrong verb form
sports
show examples
the
Correct word choice
so the
show examples
 children can improve their social interaction with peers.    on the other hand, some 
people
Use synonyms
 think the 
sport
Use synonyms
 is nothing more than
Add an article
a
show examples
leisure activity. It is true that
sport
Use synonyms
 can count
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
Correct article usage
an
show examples
activity. 
Therefore
Linking Words
, not all
people
Use synonyms
 can be professional sports
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
 so a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 do
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 when they want to relax or calm down.   In conclusion, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sport
Use synonyms
 is leisure activity
whereas
Linking Words
, I think
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sport
Use synonyms
is plays
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
important
Correct article usage
an important
show examples
 role in society

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • national unity
  • physical health
  • mental health
  • social change
  • gender equality
  • social integration
  • disadvantaged communities
  • cultural barriers
  • escapism
  • commercialization
  • viewership
  • merchandise sales
  • inclusivity
  • accessibility
  • nationalistic fervor
  • racism
  • marginalization
What to do next:
Look at other essays: