IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

These days many young people leave school with a negative attitude towards learning. Why is it happening? What can be done to help young people to leave school with a more positive attitude towards learning?

#people #school #attitude
Nowadays, schools are not appreciated by youngsters. There are two reasons behind it
,
Accept space
,
however
,
this
 issue can be tackled with the collaborative work of
school
 principals and teachers. The two factors are to blame why students detest colleges
.
Accept space
.
 The principal reason is that teachers pile too much work onto children that none of
students
Suggestion
the students
 can do them thoroughly.
This
 way
,
Accept space
,
 juveniles become fully occupied with doing homeworks and
can not
can not
cannot
 dedicate some time for their hobbies. In
this
 way
,
Accept space
,
 teachers reduce the motivation of students to
education
Suggestion
educate
.
Accept space
.
Moreover
,
school
 curriculum is another obvious cause why children have an abomination towards
study
Suggestion
the study
. The
school
 curriculum does not take into account particular interests and individual differences.
As a result
,
Accept space
,
 students are exposed to memorize a plethora of unnecessary information which is even not in line with their future career
.
Accept space
.
 It is undeniable that acquiring knowledge which does not match one’s future majoring subject does not encourage him/her to
education
Suggestion
educate
.
Accept space
.
Furthermore
,
Accept space
,
 strict rules set by
school
 principals decrease the desire of scholars
.
Accept space
.
 Sometimes teachers get angry for no clear reasons and
this
 does not stimulate pupils either
.
Accept space
.
 Fortunately
,
Accept space
,
 there are two effective measures to deal with
this
 issue. Students would be motivated
,
Accept space
,
 if their tutors are approachable
,
Accept space
,
 knowledgeable and experts in their field. Receiving positive feedback and gifts by teachers might
also
 provoke pupils to explore and learn.
Furthermore
, the amount of home-tasks should be reduced in order to make children grasp the significance of them.
Additionally
,
Accept space
,
 some rules should be mitigated and youngsters should be given an opportunity to choose subjects which they have intense passion for
.
Accept space
.
This
 way
,
Accept space
,
 students will enjoy studying and they will consider
school
Suggestion
the school
 as a happy place. In conclusion
,
Accept space
,
 a vast majority of students do not enjoy
school
,
Accept space
,
however
,
this
 problem can be minimized
,
Accept space
,
 if directors and tutors of schools change their attitude
.
Accept space
.
Submitted by Aytac Aslanli on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: