Many people think that too much attention and resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #attention #resources #protection #animals #birds

Numerous people believe that much heed and reserves are provided for the preservation of livestock and feathered creatures. I certainly disagree with

this

notion because the illegal trading of wildlife organisms is still extremely common, and the various endangered species are near extinction.

This

essay will discuss

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

why the

world

has to make more investments to alleviate the current situation.

Firstly

, the various wild sparrows and parrots are kept in captivity to sell them as pets in the market.

Similarly

, the hunting of tigers, wild pigs, and buffaloes is popular in many parts of the

world

, to obtain game meat.

This

is to say that, there are still no strict laws to prevent

such

unlawful acts against innocent creatures.

For instance

according to

a survey by the

World

Protection Organisation conducted in 2018 in

India

, every year, thousands of

deers

Fix the agreement mistake

deer

show examples

and tigers are illegally killed in southern

India

Secondly

, the numerous species of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

birds and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

animals are no longer living on the earth.

In other words

, the government of every country

requires

Wrong verb form

is required

show examples

to protect the remaining wildlife organisms because there are high

chances

Fix the agreement mistake

chance

show examples

that they may

also

get

Verb problem

become

show examples

extinct soon, which will directly cause a disturbance in the ecosystem. To exemplify,

according to

a report by The Hindu newspaper, in 2019 in

India

, owing to the absence of Lions in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

North

India

, the population of monkeys has increased hugely.

Thus

, we need to monitor these activities, and

also

provide more funds to achieve

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. In conclusion, the

world

still lacks the proper arrangement and capital to preserve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

animals and birds.

Moreover

, the extinction and illegal trading of organisms

Change the verb form

are

show examples

prevailing everywhere.

Hence

, the given statement does not seem to be rational.

Submitted by Yudhishthir on Fri Jul 24 2020

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task response

The essay discusses both sides of the argument and provides examples to support the points made. However, the response is not fully developed and lacks depth in some areas. Ensure that the response fully answers the task question and provides a clear position on the issue.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they are not well-developed. There is a lack of clear progression throughout the essay, and the use of linking words and phrases is limited. Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas, and use a variety of cohesive devices to improve coherence and cohesion.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
ecological balance
species extinction
wildlife conservation
sustainable development
ecosystem services
habitat destruction
endangered species
conservation efforts
natural heritage
human encroachment
poaching
genetic diversity
climate change
environmental stewardship
protection measures
wildlife sanctuary
biological significance
conservation biology
environmental advocacy

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Many people think that too much attention and resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now “one big traffic jam”. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars?

Some people prefer to travel by car while others prefer to take the bicycle. Wich of these do you prefer? What are the advantages and disadvantages of traveling by a car and a bicycle?

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

Nowadays, children spend too much time watching TV and playing computer games. Some people believe this has negative effects on children's mental abilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children?