Government investment in the arts ,such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. government must invest this money in public service instead. Do you agree or disagree.

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #service

Suggestion

has been seen that most countries are investing considerable amount of money in THE

tourism

industry

Over the

last

half century in order that governments try to provide more leisure time appliances and attractive places for tourists.

This

investment proved almost advantageous at least economically and culturally but it has its own downsides. One of the greatest alternatives to chemical and oil business and

also

the other strong commerce

Suggestion

are

tourism

industry

. The reason behind that sentence is the power of

tourism

economy

Suggestion

the economy

which have persuaded most countries to take

this

industry

more seriously. The fundamental needs of

tourism

Suggestion

the tourism industry

industry

are much easier to provide and at the same time healthier in comparison to its rivals.

thus

Suggestion

Thus

, all these things result in financial incomes. Cultural communication is another noticeable aspect which made

this

industry

more interesting. By

traveling

the act of going from one place to another

travelling

overseas people can share their culture and their individual

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

, so

this

may connect mankind and make them to understand each other much better than before which makes life more enjoyable and peaceful.

On the other hand

, there are some demerits beside all

those

plural of "this"

these

plus points which are not negligible.

Firstly

, cultural invasion can be the worst feature that

this

industry

may bring to

table

Suggestion

the table

. We all have seen some countries that are struggling with

this

crisis because they failed to handle

this

commerce.

Consequently

, when

tourism

industry

acts adversely

instead

of developing culture we may see

disappearance

Suggestion

the disappearance

of culture which is destructive.

Secondly

, if

tourism

industry

does not control well, the cities may face

overpopulation which

Accept comma addition

overpopulation, which

is unbearable for urban dwellers because of heavy traffics and air pollution. In conclusion, the merits of

tourism

industry

outweighed its demerits if

this

business is under control of sharp rulers.

Submitted by qwer on Fri Jul 24 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural diversity
economic stimulus
tourism industry
social inclusion
wellbeing
public services
infrastructure
equitable distribution
fiscal responsibility
heritage conservation
intellectual property
private sponsorship
government subsidies
civic engagement
creative industries

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Government investment in the arts ,such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. government must invest this money in public service instead. Do you agree or disagree.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might be the case? What could be the disadvantages of self-employment?

In many countries, people have health problems because they chose to live an unhealthy lifestyle. What are the reasons and solutions?