in many countries schoolhave severe problems with students behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In a fast modern world, many schools have encountered numerous problem with the student's behaviour. Discussed below are several factors that lead to the student misbehaviour, followed by some measures that are recommended to tackle
this
Linking Words
issue. There is a wide range of reasons why students behave appropriately. One of the root causes of
this
Linking Words
issue is that some students are destructively affected by violent films or video games. In fact, they often approach videos and films with inappropriate content for their ages without distinguishing between what is right and what is wrong.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it causes students to think that violence is a normal part of daily life and have immoral attitudes towards people around them
such
Linking Words
as bulling their friends or having a rude action to their peers. Another contributing factor is that offsprings grow up without enough responsibility and attention from their parents. In the modern world, in order to cope with financial burdens, their parents must do numerous temporary jobs each day beside their permanent employment and insufficient time to tackle care of their children.
As a result
Linking Words
, they are spoilt in more material ways in compensation for the insufficient consideration and feel neglected. Henceforth, they become indifferent to others and unexpected arguments to make others pay attention to them and care of them. In order to deal with
this
Linking Words
problem, some measures must be taken. One possible way to combat
this
Linking Words
lies in their parents and school who should guide children how to use media tools properly and help them develop significant skills and abilities. Another solution is for their parents to keep a balance between life and work to spend enough time taking good care of their offsprings, do not hesitate to share daily problems with them and teach them how to be considerate to others. In conclusion, there are a numerous causes of children's immoral behaviour;
Linking Words
however there
Accept comma addition
however, there
still exits some useful solutions to deal with
this
Linking Words
problem.
Submitted by Dehan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: