some cities create new housing for their growing population by constructing a smaller number of high-rise buildings. other cities create more of low-rise building. which solution is better. in your opinion?

There is a growing concern about people’s accommodation because of the significant increase in people.
While
some cities build skyscrapers to solve
this
problem, others prefer to construct
low storey
Add a hyphen
low-storey
show examples
buildings
.
This
essay will discuss both views and explain why low-rise
buildings
are a better solution. On the one hand, creating low-level houses can have two benefits. First and foremost, cities will grow wider
instead
of growing vertically, which will result in a lower density of people in a particular area.
In other words
, cities will be developed far from the hectic downtown, and there will be more peaceful neighbours.
Secondly
, not only houses are much larger than apartments in high-rise
buildings
, but
also
there will
be
Rephrase
also be
show examples
cheaper.
For instance
, a large one-storey house in the countryside will cost equally to a minuscule apartment
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
downtown.
Therefore
, not only can more people afford
this
kind of housing, but
also
, they will have a more enjoyable life.
On the other hand
, the construction of high-rise
buildings
will increase population density, which leads to a crowded and populated area. Consider a hectic, crowded downtown of
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
as an example, which produces tons of garbage daily
as well as
noise pollution.
Therefore
,
this
kind of
buildings
Fix the agreement mistake
building
show examples
will not solve a problem;
instead
, it will create other problems
such
as pollution for authorities to deal with in the
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
. In conclusion,
while
high-rise
buildings
might seem a fast solution to the needs of accommodation, I firmly believe that low-level
buildings
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
show examples
outweigh the high-rise
buildings
, not only because of the price
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
the life’s quality of the growing population.
Submitted by omid on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the writer's opinion on the issue. Provide a more substantial conclusion that summarizes the key points made in the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay shows good logical progression and links ideas together effectively. However, ensure that the essay has a more balanced structure, presenting both viewpoints equally.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: