Television entertains, but can it also educate? Do you agree?

This

year, in the quarantine, TV tried to give some help for the primary students with some classes. To my mind, it did not work.

Firstly

, the classes that television gives are too basics. I saw some

maths

Suggestion

math

classes, and they were not doing the exercises correctly, they were laughing and making the programme really pretty, but they have forgotten

Suggestion

about

the most important thing: help students with their homework.

Secondly

, they

are always giving

Suggestion

are always given

false information. TV does not

check revise

Accept comma addition

check, revise

the information that they

givegives

Suggestion

give gives

and the parents of the children do not do it

also

. They are really irresponsible and makes that the students can not couldn’t learn. They

try tries

Suggestion

try, try

try try

to make it funny and

entertaining but

Accept comma addition

entertaining, but

they do not do the classes well.

For example

, the math’s exercises or the history information.

On the other hand

, cartoons have some morals or actions that could help children in the real life,

such

as like

helps

Suggestion

helping

to help

old people crossing the street or do not do something that could annoy you. To conclude, TV would never replace the

school but

Accept comma addition

school, but

can

helps

Suggestion

help

teaching some actions of the real life.

Submitted by Alejandra Guaymás on Fri Jul 24 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

191 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Television entertains, but can it also educate? Do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Today, many tasks at home or work are being done by robots. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

The bar shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days.

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime.Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime,and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.