The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain in the healthcare system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, Obesity is a major
health
concern which is seen in most of the people and day by day the numbers are increasing. Overweight,
un wanted
not wanted; not needed
unwanted
fat is directly linked to the food he or she
consume
Suggestion
consumes
, and it will cause major
health
issues when getting old. If we try to research the reasons for obesity, you will definitely observe the influence of Junk food and unhealthy food habits. An
obes
excessively fat
obese
person will normally face
health
issues like leg pain, over sweating, heart problems
etc
, when these numbers increase it gradually
effects
have an effect upon
affects
the
societies
Suggestion
society's
society
health
system. Some people opine the ideal way to deal with obesity is introducing physical education lessons,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
.
e
Suggestion
E
, outdoor exercise and sports, so that the basic lessons
to keep
Suggestion
keep
fit is learned in the younger age. Normally in schools
their
in or at that place
there
will be trainers who teach students
on
Suggestion
in
sports and other basic physical exercises, which is very ideal. I agree
to
Suggestion
with
the opinion,
its
it is
it's
vital to introduce physical education lessons in
school curriculum
Suggestion
the school curriculum
because
its
it is
it's
the responsibility of a society to
mold
form in clay, wax, etc
mould
healthy generation.
Submitted by Shinoy Kaladharan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: