IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

A gift (such as a camera, a soccer ball, or an animal) can contribute to a child’s development. What gift would you give to help a child develop? Why?

#gift #camera #soccer #ball #child’s #development #child
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are many
way
Suggestion
ways
 to contribute to a child’s development, they go
from
Suggestion
for
 the food she eats, the way she is educated to her toys. In
fact they
Accept comma addition
fact, they
 learn and develop throughout their entire lives. So, if I had a chance to give
present
Suggestion
presentations
 for children, I would choose a
book
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, books have an influence on our development, give us more knowledge. In the following paragraphs, I will give
my
objective form of "I"
me
reason
Suggestion
a reason
 to support my answer.
First
Linking Words
 of all,
Use synonyms
book
Suggestion
the book
a book
 is a huge source of information, it gives children opportunity to acquire new knowledge that helpful for
future
Suggestion
the future
.
For instance
Linking Words
, scientific books provide knowledge in the field of science, novels have the information
of
Suggestion
about
 cultures and customs in some regions.
Second
Linking Words
, reading
also
Linking Words
 improves your memory and concentration. That’s because, we tend to stop and think about the story in the
book
Use synonyms
. So children will have
passion
Suggestion
a passion
on
Suggestion
for
about
 books.
In other words
Linking Words
, if parents give them a good
book
Use synonyms
, their child will become a good person.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, books make children more successful.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, reading books improves their communication skill. Books have a large number of vocabulary. The results
is
Suggestion
are
 that you have more new words to use when talking, or having a speech or presentation. To sum up, it is true that we have several
choice
Suggestion
choices
 in order to give children as a gift, but we should choose a gift which can contribute to a child’s development.
Submitted by Minh Hiền HN on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: