Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In recent years,

music

has been well-known by all of the people around the world. The majority of people argue that the best way to gather all of the people across the cultures and ages are by

music

. In my opinion, I partially agree with that statement.

First

of all, there are several reasons why

music

is the only chance to bring all of the people. It is because they follow some genres that they like and some genres are suitable for all ages. As an example, when people come to the concert, either the younger people or the elder can join it and have

fun

together. Even though the artist are already well-known long time ago since the

music

that is

produced in the early

century but

Accept comma addition

century, but

if the kids love it no matter the differences of the culture that might be, they will enjoy the

music

and come to have

fun

with all the people that like it.

Consequently

, all of the people start to know each others and share some

fun

together due to

music

However

music

does not always make all of the people happy together at times since there

are vary

Suggestion

are variations

are varied

in type of

music

For instance

, there

are

Suggestion

pop

music

, classical

music

, or rock

music

which is made in the different era.

As a result

, all of the people have their own choice in

music

such

as the older one that love the

music

that they heard

since

Suggestion

from

young,

for example

classical

music

that produced several years ago. It is different for the teenagers as they tend to love the rock

music

that is

popular recently. The differences in culture can

also

make the

music

preference of a person change as they are likely to follow the

music

that is

well-known in the society. In conclusion,

music

has become the media for all of the people across the country and ages to have

fun

together in some genres that they like.

However

, the time when the

music

composed and

also

surrounding's culture and behaviour in

music

can be a barrier for all of the people to enjoy the particular

music

together.

Submitted by van on Sat Jul 25 2020

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

357 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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