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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#aim #science #people #lives
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Humans
 have been exploring
science
 for a long time. There has been an ongoing debate about whether the most important aim of
science
 is to improve human welfare. I do agree that improving
people
's
lives
 is one of the aims of
science
.
However
, at the same time, ensuring harmonious coexistence between
people
 and other living
beings
 is
also
 a crucial goal of
science
. On the one hand, it is because
people
 continually seek to improve their
lives
 that they constantly research
science
, leading to advancements in better healthcare, transportation, and living conditions. The more scientific outcomes can improve human well-being, the more motivated
people
 are to explore it.
For example
,
people
 have invented
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
show examples
 and cars through scientific discoveries, significantly reducing travel time and making
people
's
lives
 more efficient. Later, to reduce the air pollution caused by vehicles burning fossil fuels,
people
 used nuclear power to produce cleaner electricity to power vehicles.
Therefore
,
science
 holds practical value because it can improve
people
's
lives
, making scientific research
further
.
On the other hand
, it is essential for
people
 to foster a peaceful relationship with other living
beings
, which is
also
 one of the purposes of
science
.
For instance
,
humans
 produce plastic production by using chemistry. After benefiting from the convenience of these
plastic
Fix the agreement mistake
plastics
show examples
,
humans
 recycle and repurpose large quantities of plastic production, preventing the pollution of the ocean and harming marine creatures. After all, it is well known that
humans
 and other living
beings
 share the same planet.
Hence
, the aim of
science
 extends beyond improving
people
's
lives
 to promote harmonious coexistence with other forms of life. In conclusion, the aims of
science
 not only improve
people
's
lives
 but
also
 foster harmonious coexistence between
people
 and other living
beings
.
Submitted by universe.edge on

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task achievement
You have addressed the task well by discussing both the improvement of people's lives and the harmonious coexistence with other living beings as aims of science. However, to strengthen your task response, consider incorporating more specific and varied examples to support your points further.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. To enhance coherence, consider using more linking phrases to ensure smooth progression of ideas between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
You have addressed the task by considering both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a comprehensive understanding.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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