IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A zoo has no useful purpose.

#zoo #purpose
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Many countries around the world believe in maintaining zoos in the name of wildlife protection. In my opinion, a
zoo
Use synonyms
 has no useful purpose as animals can be better protected in natural environments like biosphere reserves and sanctuaries.
Linking Words
Moreover it
Accept comma addition
Moreover, it
 is dangerous to keep wild animals caged in downtown. With the amendments in the laws of protection of animals, states are increasingly getting focused to develop ways that can stop animal poaching and hunting.
Therefore
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, government builds
zoo
Use synonyms
 in cities.
This
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 amuses the population and become sources of tourism as well.
However
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 a study in psychology of animals at the Whale's University revealed the fact that 95% animals are depressed being caged in a
zoo
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.
For example
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, the famous lion Sposo at the Biwards
Zoo
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 stopped eating a meal for days until doctors realised that the loss of appetite was due to the urge to travel around his boundaries. When taken into the forest, the lion start taking back proper meals.
This
Linking Words
 shows how animals feel in the cages. In line with the above fact, it can be dangerous to keep wild animals in
Use synonyms
zoo
Suggestion
zoos
a zoo
the zoo
 as during any exigency either they will die or kill people around.
For instance
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 the tigress at the Red scuba
Zoo
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 ran away, breaking the cage and in a hustle attacked two authorities at the
zoo
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. In another incident at the famous Amazon
zoo
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, 35 animals died after the fire burst out in the
zoo
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 due to short circuit. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
zoo
the syllable naming the fifth (dominant) note of any musical scale in solmization
so
 are no worth advantage of government or society. Rather Natural reserves and sanctuaries can better serve the purpose.
Submitted by Kanika Sharma on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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