Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

#say #music #art #drama #school #subjects #level

It is argued that whether

art

and drama should be treated equally compared to other school subjects. From my perspective, I totally agree with

this

statement because of 2 reasons: children need to learn all aspects of knowledge in order to find out their

talent

and human beings

also

learn

music

art

for reducing

stress

. Children age from 5 to 10 do not know what they are ambitious and talented. Primary schools,

therefore

, play an important role in helping those kids find out in which field they are talented by teaching students all subjects. If the education system just has compulsory subjects

such

as Math or Chemicals and I will say that it is a shame for the young since some children may not have a chance to realize their

talent

Suggestion

talents

art

or drama. A recent report of Cambridge University indicated that 5 to 10 years old is the high time for a child to develop its

talent

art

But how

Accept comma addition

But, how

children’s

talent

can bloom if primary schools do not consider drama or

art

as an essential part of the education system?

In addition

, human beings need

art

music

to eliminate

stress

. Mental health, is more concerned since the proportion of the population get trouble with

stress

went up significantly.

Besides

music

and

art

are considered as a treatment for mental health. A group of American scientists did research about the relationship between

stress

and

art

in 2010 and the result proved that the percentage of respondents who have intense

stress

and do not know about

art

is twofold compared to people who learned about

art

and

music

before.

That is

to say, subjects related to

art

should be treated equally in education since they are essential factors in reducing

stress

. To conclude, children deserve to learn all subjects in order to help them find out their

talent

and ambition as well as help

young

Suggestion

younger

generations to fight against

stress

in modern life.

Submitted by Pham Song Gia Binh on Sun Jul 26 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

327 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

holistic development
fostering
emotional intelligence
problem-solving skills
cultural awareness
curriculum
engaging
memorable
nurture
talents
core subjects
academic
professional success

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Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work with a company or organization. What might be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

Many students find it difficult to learn subjects like mathematics and philosophy and hence they should be optional in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

In some parts of the world, traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. Why is this happening? What measures could be taken to ensure they do not disappear.

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

Describe the last time you received an important letter or email. You should say: who the letter or email was from when you received it what it was about and explain how it made you feel.