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Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

#say #music #art #drama #school #subjects #level
It is argued that whether
art
 and drama should be treated equally compared to other school subjects. From my perspective, I totally agree with
this
 statement because of 2 reasons: children need to learn all aspects of knowledge in order to find out their
talent
 and human beings
also
 learn
music
 or
art
 for reducing
stress
. Children age from 5 to 10 do not know what they are ambitious and talented. Primary schools,
therefore
, play an important role in helping those kids find out in which field they are talented by teaching students all subjects. If the education system just has compulsory subjects
such
 as Math or Chemicals and I will say that it is a shame for the young since some children may not have a chance to realize their
talent
Suggestion
talents
 in
art
 or drama. A recent report of Cambridge University indicated that 5 to 10 years old is the high time for a child to develop its
talent
 in
art
.
But how
Accept comma addition
But, how
 children’s
talent
 can bloom if primary schools do not consider drama or
art
 as an essential part of the education system?
In addition
, human beings need
art
 or
music
 to eliminate
stress
. Mental health, is more concerned since the proportion of the population get trouble with
stress
 went up significantly.
Besides
,
music
 and
art
 are considered as a treatment for mental health. A group of American scientists did research about the relationship between
stress
 and
art
 in 2010 and the result proved that the percentage of respondents who have intense
stress
 and do not know about
art
 is twofold compared to people who learned about
art
 and
music
 before.
That is
 to say, subjects related to
art
 should be treated equally in education since they are essential factors in reducing
stress
. To conclude, children deserve to learn all subjects in order to help them find out their
talent
 and ambition as well as help
young
Suggestion
younger
 generations to fight against
stress
 in modern life.
Submitted by Pham Song Gia Binh on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
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