Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

#say #music #art #drama #school #subjects #level

It is argued that whether

art

and drama should be treated equally compared to other school subjects. From my perspective, I totally agree with

this

statement because of 2 reasons: children need to learn all aspects of knowledge in order to find out their

talent

and human beings

also

learn

music

art

for reducing

stress

. Children age from 5 to 10 do not know what they are ambitious and talented. Primary schools,

therefore

, play an important role in helping those kids find out in which field they are talented by teaching students all subjects. If the education system just has compulsory subjects

such

as Math or Chemicals and I will say that it is a shame for the young since some children may not have a chance to realize their

talent

Suggestion

talents

art

or drama. A recent report of Cambridge University indicated that 5 to 10 years old is the high time for a child to develop its

talent

art

But how

Accept comma addition

But, how

children’s

talent

can bloom if primary schools do not consider drama or

art

as an essential part of the education system?

In addition

, human beings need

art

music

to eliminate

stress

. Mental health, is more concerned since the proportion of the population get trouble with

stress

went up significantly.

Besides

music

and

art

are considered as a treatment for mental health. A group of American scientists did research about the relationship between

stress

and

art

in 2010 and the result proved that the percentage of respondents who have intense

stress

and do not know about

art

is twofold compared to people who learned about

art

and

music

before.

That is

to say, subjects related to

art

should be treated equally in education since they are essential factors in reducing

stress

. To conclude, children deserve to learn all subjects in order to help them find out their

talent

and ambition as well as help

young

Suggestion

younger

generations to fight against

stress

in modern life.

Submitted by Pham Song Gia Binh on Sun Jul 26 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

327 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

holistic development
fostering
emotional intelligence
problem-solving skills
cultural awareness
curriculum
engaging
memorable
nurture
talents
core subjects
academic
professional success

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Today, more and more people are leaving rural areas to live in the city. Discuss some effects of rural recession and the cause of this
Recent years have witnessed a lot of people moving from the countryside to the urban areas. This is because of some special reason,this essay will explain some effect and the main roof cause of this movement
6
band
In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your Opinion about this?
In some parts of the US, a rule which is named "Curfew", claims teenagers right to be outside the house after a certain hour in the evening without any adult beside them. I believe this is a good one and is helping to protect youth from dangers.
4.5
band
Currently, majority of people are willing to travel around the world to visit the sight seeying places because it is much more easier now as apposed to past. There are several benefits of tourism and there are outweigh the drawbacks.
A plethora of people travelling to the European countries to see the beautification of the world. The tourists are travelled to different places because of too many tourism facilities available now. However, the question is that the benefits of excursion are higher than demerits or not? The following paragraphs would explain further.
4
band
Some people think that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education, whereas others say this is no longer true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is considered that having academic degrees from institutions is the best way to achieve goals and obtain more success, while others argue that university diplomas are not important things to become successful. In my view, effective educations in an educational institution prepare you for a better future and getting professional qualifications.
8.5
band
The money spent by governments on space programmers would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In modern civilization, people started to pay attention to mysterious things surrounding us, one of them should be the infinite space. Hence, more expenditure has been spent on space programmers, regardless of the vital needs such as education and curing people. In my perspective, I strongly disagree with that decision resulting in a decrease in the amount of money invested in schools and hospitals, because I recognize that we should firstly focus on the earth.

Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Today, more and more people are leaving rural areas to live in the city. Discuss some effects of rural recession and the cause of this

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your Opinion about this?

Currently, majority of people are willing to travel around the world to visit the sight seeying places because it is much more easier now as apposed to past. There are several benefits of tourism and there are outweigh the drawbacks.

Some people think that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education, whereas others say this is no longer true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The money spent by governments on space programmers would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?