Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that whether
art
Use synonyms
and drama should be treated equally compared to other school subjects. From my perspective, I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
statement because of 2 reasons: children need to learn all aspects of knowledge in order to find out their
talent
Use synonyms
and human beings
also
Linking Words
learn
music
Use synonyms
or
art
Use synonyms
for reducing
stress
Use synonyms
. Children age from 5 to 10 do not know what they are ambitious and talented. Primary schools,
therefore
Linking Words
, play an important role in helping those kids find out in which field they are talented by teaching students all subjects. If the education system just has compulsory subjects
such
Linking Words
as Math or Chemicals and I will say that it is a shame for the young since some children may not have a chance to realize their
Use synonyms
talent
Suggestion
talents
in
art
Use synonyms
or drama. A recent report of Cambridge University indicated that 5 to 10 years old is the high time for a child to develop its
talent
Use synonyms
in
art
Use synonyms
.
But how
Accept comma addition
But, how
children’s
talent
Use synonyms
can bloom if primary schools do not consider drama or
art
Use synonyms
as an essential part of the education system?
In addition
Linking Words
, human beings need
art
Use synonyms
or
music
Use synonyms
to eliminate
stress
Use synonyms
. Mental health, is more concerned since the proportion of the population get trouble with
stress
Use synonyms
went up significantly.
Besides
Linking Words
,
music
Use synonyms
and
art
Use synonyms
are considered as a treatment for mental health. A group of American scientists did research about the relationship between
stress
Use synonyms
and
art
Use synonyms
in 2010 and the result proved that the percentage of respondents who have intense
stress
Use synonyms
and do not know about
art
Use synonyms
is twofold compared to people who learned about
art
Use synonyms
and
music
Use synonyms
before.
That is
Linking Words
to say, subjects related to
art
Use synonyms
should be treated equally in education since they are essential factors in reducing
stress
Use synonyms
. To conclude, children deserve to learn all subjects in order to help them find out their
talent
Use synonyms
and ambition as well as help
young
Suggestion
younger
generations to fight against
stress
Use synonyms
in modern life.
Submitted by Pham Song Gia Binh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
What to do next:
Look at other essays: