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Band 2.5

ThechartsbelowshowthepercentagesoffilmsshowninUKandAustralia in2001aswellasthenumberofcinemaadmissionsfrom1976to2006. Summarisetheinformationbyselectingandreportingthemainfeatures andmakecomparisonswhererelevant.

#thechartsbelowshowthepercentagesoffilmsshowninukandaustralia #aswellasthenumberofcinemaadmissionsfrom #summarisetheinformationbyselectingandreportingthemainfeatures #andmakecomparisonswhererelevant
The bar charts
illustrates
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illustrate
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 the information on the origin of movies which were screened
on
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in
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Australia
 and
United
Correct article usage
the United
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Kimdom
Correct your spelling
Kingdom
 in 2001
while
line
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the line
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 graph makes
comparison
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a comparison
the comparison
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 of the number
cinema
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of cinema
show examples
 admissions in 1976 and 2006 . In
brief
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brief,
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 the film's share was mainly dominated by the
USA
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US
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 movie industries,
as well as
 attendants in Britain
went
Correct pronoun usage
who went
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 to
theatre
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the theatre
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were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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more than
the
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their
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Australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
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 counterparts between 1975 and 2005.
Firt
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First
 of all, United States film accounted for over 75% of the UK
cinema
 market and approximately 70 % of the Australian market. 20% of films were made in Britain locally compared to almost 10% in
Australia
.
Secondly
, one in ten produced in
Australia
 screened in the UK but fewer
Australia made
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Australia-made
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 movies
in
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apply
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the
local
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locally
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 as there
was
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were
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 virtually nail proportions. It
is clearly show
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is clearly shown
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 that more Britishs attend to theatre than people who did in
Australia
 between 1976 and 2005. In 1975, over 100
million
 UK people watched movies contrary to 30
million
 people in
Australia
. The number
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of Australian
show examples
Australian
Fix the agreement mistake
Australians
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 reached over 80
million
 after 3 decades,
although
 the
over all
Correct your spelling
overall
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 trend
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fluctuation. British
cinema
 attendees decreased from 1977 to 1984, but afterwards steadily increased . After 30 years, nearly 160
million
 British went to
cinema
 which is a doubling number than that of Australians.
Submitted by HOI YIU YIP on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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