Some people believe that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of bad person's nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #crime #poverty #person #nature

Some

people

believe that a

crime

is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that

crime

is a result of

bad

Correct article usage

a bad

show examples

person

's nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion In

this

modern world,

crime

is at its peak. Some individuals reckon that

crime

is happening

due to

social issues

such

as lack of money, and depression and others think that

crime

is totally dependent on a

person

's bad nature

however

, I think it depends on a

person

how he thinks towards the problems and their solutions.

This

essay will shed light on both sides in upcoming paragraphs. The first and foremost point is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the offence is increasing day by day

due to

social behaviours. These days

people

don't think about what they are saying, writing and posting on social media and they are violent and approach everything aggressively. To illustrate, daily newspapers are full of headlines like,

people

fighting on social media

due to

their personal grudges. In

this

way, they just got false information which leads to more aggression.

Moreover

, poverty is the main cause because

people

want to be rich in a day so for that they are trying to short cut

such

as robbery, murder for materialistic things, knife

crime

for snatching and many more.

On the other hand

, it depends on the nature of how

people

behave because no one can change a

person

's external thinking. It totally depends on a

person

how

approaches

Correct subject-verb agreement

approach

show examples

turmoil in their lives.

For instance

, a

person

who has been a criminal mind since childhood

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

can do anything for their surviving in their teenage. It is personal thinking to carry that thing along their whole life.

Also

, if someone wants to live life with that attitude no one can do anything in

this

case.

To sum up

Although

both are responsible for

crime

social behaviour issues

as well as

person

's thinking I think it mostly depends on someone how they tackle their problems and choose wisely to decide what they want to be

Submitted by greeshmasebastian1997 on Mon Oct 28 2024

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coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence, consider using clearer transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument and avoid repeating phrases like 'on the other hand' consecutively.

task achievement

Develop your main points with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your response.

coherence cohesion

The introduction sets the context well and presents both viewpoints, along with your stance on the issue.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both views and provides your own perspective, ensuring a well-rounded discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

337 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of bad person's nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

THE FOREST AND THE NEED TO PRESERVE IT. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?

In an era of globalisation, some people think that studying abroad is the best way to attain a well-paid job, while others believe that other options are better. Discuss both views and give your opinion

task 2: Internet technology means people do not need to travel to foreign countries to understand how others live. To what extent do you agree or disagree?