many elderly people are no longer looked after their families but are putting care home and nursing homes does this development has more advantages than its possible disadvantage

#people #families #care #home #homes #development

The knowledge and experience of elder

one

Suggestion

are

precious and it is very costly as gold. In the modern

era there

Accept comma addition

era, there

are so many elderly

home

Suggestion

homes

, which has certain advantages and disadvantages. In my view aged people need to be cared in their own

home

environment.

One

of the major

point

Suggestion

points

retirement

Suggestion

retirement homes

a retirement home

home

is that it

reduce

Suggestion

reduces

that time spend for the elders

owing to be the

Suggestion

to be owing to the

fact that there is no time for the family members to take care elders because of their work schedule and busy life. Another benefit for the severely elder

one

who get adequate healthcare, safety and security in the nursing homes rather than from the

home

environment. In spite of

this

advantages

Suggestion

advantage

, which has some drawbacks

also

elder

a person who is older than you are

Elder

people in the old age homes have no any freedom they are restricted to a four corner building and they are not emotionally stable.

Suggestion

home they

Accept comma addition

home, they

are happy with their children and grandchildren. Another detrimental effect is that they have some likes and dislikes in their food habits and

rituals but

Accept comma addition

rituals, but

it should not considered in care centres and

also

the force to follow the

institutions

Suggestion

institution's

institutions'

policies. These all are

dissatisfaction

Suggestion

dissatisfied

Suggestion

with

them.

In addition

to that if they have the ability to think and adequate memory is left there, the thought they are

burden

Suggestion

burdens

to their children and the loneliness of them in the old age

home

make

Suggestion

makes

them a depressed

one

Suggestion

summary the old age homes are essential in the modern life because of the busy life of the youth, Paris there is a right to the elder

one

to be kept by their family members. Their sweat made

this

youth as like

this

, so in my personal opinion the elder

one

should be cared by their families and don't forget the fact that

one

day you will become an older

one

Submitted by achu on Sun Jul 26 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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many elderly people are no longer looked after their families but are putting care home and nursing homes does this development has more advantages than its possible disadvantage

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people are busy with work and do not have enough time to spend with family and friends. Why does this happen? What are the effects of this on family life and society as a whole?

Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both arguments and give your opinion

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your opinion.

An increasing number of larger shopping areas, malls and department stores are leading to the decline of smaller corner shops. what are the advantages and disadvantages of shopping in larger shopping centers rather than smaller, more traditional shops?