Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of the modern society. some people think that we must return to the older and more traditional values of respect for the family and the local community to create a better world to live in to what extent do you agree or disagree

#selfishness #basis #society #people #values #respect #community #world

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Today we see in the world of egoism the importance of self interest, which does not pay for human emotions. Some people argue that for a peaceful and happy life in the world as well as within the family, we must go back to the traditional values and ethics. In my opinion, it is essential to remove the materialistic attitude

from

Suggestion

our society.

To begin

Linking Words

with, most of the people in the 21st century behave in

Suggestion

respectful and rude manner to the older people and the community. In detail, today, youth are not aware about the importance of respect, whereas they only bothered about their life.

For example

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, in the

past there

Accept comma addition

past, there

was a value for the decisions that took by the parents or the elder people in the

family but

Accept comma addition

family, but

in the current era

Accept space

children do whatever they like to do.

In addition

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, present days most of the people are envious about the development of others, which may lead to the crimes. The people never concern about the traditional values

such

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as respect, love, honesty as well as non- violence

have

Suggestion

has

no role in today's life. The crime reports in the mass media are the best example for

this

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. Most of the murders are held because of the selfishness of a person.

As a result

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this

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the people do crimes to be

success

Suggestion

successful

in their business or their activity. To conclude, when compared with the

past we

Accept comma addition

past, we

are living in a dangerous situation, where no trust and honesty between each other due to the lack of traditional values.

Therefore

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, we must retake and continue the ancestors values and traditions to develop a trustworthy and helpful society and family in our world.

Submitted by achu on Sun Jul 26 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

modern society
traditional values
familial bonds
community ties
collective well-being
individual gain
responsibility
care for others
neglect
isolation
honesty
respect
cooperation
individual greed
ethical conduct
social cohesion
crime rates
mental health
general happiness

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Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of the modern society. some people think that we must return to the older and more traditional values of respect for the family and the local community to create a better world to live in to what extent do you agree or disagree

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that businesses should provide sports facilities foremployees. Others consider that a person’s health is their own responsibility, not a company’s problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think it does not matter if a professional sportsman or sportswoman misbehaves on or off the field if they play well. What is your opinion about this?

Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion？

Levels of consumer debt are increasing across the world. To address this, a new subject should be introduced in secondary schools: how to manage personal finances. To what extent do you agree with this statement?