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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, many people are likely to over use internet and some of them even become addicted to it. What are reason for this? What problem can be cause by internet over use?

#people #internet #reason
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Today, people from around the world communicate with each other through
Internet
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. There are many people over use
internet
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 and some of them even become addicted to it. The reasons and troubles from over usage
internet
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 will be explained. There are two main reasons for lack of self-confidence and tend to feel shy in public. They are not capable of making friends like normal people do in their lives. So they choose to make friends online, which is a much easier way for them to pursue their needs.
Furthermore
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, they need the
internet
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 as an escape from life troubles. They do not need to
face
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 external problems in daily routines. The problem can be cause is affect social relationships. People are spending less
time
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 interacting
face
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 to
face
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 and more
time
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 interacting
face
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 to the screen.
This
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 can affect social relationships between family members and friends, there could be an important event or family gathering and they are not paying attention to it.
In addition
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,
internet
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 addiction can be harmful effect on physical health. When people use the
internet
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, most of the
time
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 they are sitting in the chair or lay down. When you sit, a lot of people will lean forward on their computer seats toward the screen.
This
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 can cause back and neck problems along with disproportionate posture.
Moreover
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, more
time
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 on the computer means less
time
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 for exercise, which causes weight gain in many people. In conclusion, lack of self-confidence and
tendency
Suggestion
tend
 to feel shy in public are addicted to the
internet
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 and lead to serious communication and physical health problems that they can be.
Submitted by nhat on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Endless source of information
  • Disconnect
  • Capture and retain users' attention
  • Excessive usage
  • Immersive and competitive nature
  • Prolonged periods of play
  • Real-world activities
  • Remote work
  • Blur the lines
  • Mental health issues
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Social isolation
  • Neglect
  • Screen time
  • Lack of physical activity
  • Eye strain
  • Poor posture
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Procrastinate
  • Distracted easily
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