It is the responsibility of individuals to save and provide for their own retirement. Governments have no obligation to provide this benefit. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
Individuals
should be responsible for saving their own pension
, as the Fix the agreement mistake
pensions
government
should not take this
into consideration. However
, many individuals
argue it is their own responsibility for providing
Change preposition
to provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
retirement
, I mostly disagree with this
point of view.
Admittedly, proponents of personal responsibility claim that people should consider their retirement
, One of the obvious reasons is that it encourages individuals
to plan their future financial needs. This
means that they will calculate their expenses,and after analyzing, this
pattern incentives to save their money. Furthermore
, if citizens could provide their own pensions, the government
could divert its money to other social services, such
as education and healthcare. As an example, in Finland, a significant proportion of the population provides their own retirement
savings; consequently
, the country focuses on as much priority as sectors.
Nevertheless
, despite retirement
planning helping the country, it leads to inequality among city-dwellers
. A primary justification is that relying solely on personal savings might contribute to difficulties. As long as , not many Correct your spelling
city dwellers
individuals
are sufficiently affluent to secure future finances, leading to burden problems. For instance
, in Azerbaijan, more and more people are at low-income levels which do
not sound enough good to provide their own Correct subject-verb agreement
does
retirement
. Additionally
, I think that it is the duty of the government
to fund the pension system owing to individuals
contribute
to tax society through taxes and Wrong verb form
contributing
labor
during their working years. Change the spelling
labour
Hence
, providing retirement
plays a significant role to respect
their senior citizens.
In conclusion, Change preposition
in respecting
while
funding their own retirement
fosters individual accountability and help
the Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
government
to allocate its budget to other socioeconomic parts, I am of the opinion that authorities should be responsible for this
and it is their duty.Submitted by ilkin.abdullaev04 on
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task achievement
Ensure all main points are consistently supported with detailed examples or explanations to strengthen arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain clear topic sentences in each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments more clearly.
task achievement
The essay effectively balances both perspectives, stating and supporting personal opinion against the statement.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the author's viewpoint, providing a clear stance.
task achievement
The example of Finland is effectively used to illustrate a point about government resource allocation.