It is the responsibility of individuals to save and provide for their own retirement. Governments have no obligation to provide this benefit. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

Individuals
should be responsible for saving their own
pension
Fix the agreement mistake
pensions
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, as the
government
should not take
this
into consideration.
However
, many
individuals
argue it is their own responsibility
for providing
Change preposition
to provide
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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retirement
, I mostly disagree with
this
point of view. Admittedly, proponents of personal responsibility claim that people should consider their
retirement
, One of the obvious reasons is that it encourages
individuals
to plan their future financial needs.
This
means that they will calculate their expenses,and after analyzing,
this
pattern incentives to save their money.
Furthermore
, if citizens could provide their own pensions, the
government
could divert its money to other social services,
such
as education and healthcare. As an example, in Finland, a significant proportion of the population provides their own
retirement
savings;
consequently
, the country focuses on as much priority as sectors.
Nevertheless
, despite
retirement
planning helping the country, it leads to inequality among
city-dwellers
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city dwellers
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. A primary justification is that relying solely on personal savings might contribute to difficulties. As long as , not many
individuals
are sufficiently affluent to secure future finances, leading to burden problems.
For instance
, in Azerbaijan, more and more people are at low-income levels which
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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not sound enough good to provide their own
retirement
.
Additionally
, I think that it is the duty of the
government
to fund the pension system owing to
individuals
contribute
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contributing
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to tax society through taxes and
labor
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labour
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during their working years.
Hence
, providing
retirement
plays a significant role
to respect
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in respecting
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their senior citizens. In conclusion,
while
funding their own
retirement
fosters individual accountability and
help
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helps
show examples
the
government
to allocate its budget to other socioeconomic parts, I am of the opinion that authorities should be responsible for
this
and it is their duty.
Submitted by ilkin.abdullaev04 on

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task achievement
Ensure all main points are consistently supported with detailed examples or explanations to strengthen arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain clear topic sentences in each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments more clearly.
task achievement
The essay effectively balances both perspectives, stating and supporting personal opinion against the statement.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the author's viewpoint, providing a clear stance.
task achievement
The example of Finland is effectively used to illustrate a point about government resource allocation.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • retirement savings
  • financial planning
  • economic circumstances
  • government provision
  • basic state pension
  • financial independence
  • income disparities
  • aging populations
  • social safety net
  • tax burden
  • financial education
  • quality of life
  • personal financial responsibility
  • social inequality
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