IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. to what extend do you agree?

#people #sports #violence #arts #tv #competitions
For the
last
 few years, sports especially extreme sports have grown in popularity throughout the world. While some people believe that these kinds of sports are too dangerous to be watched on TV or be held in international competitions, others totally disagree with it. Personally, I think that each opinion has its reasons. To commence with, it is said that extreme sports should be prohibited due to its high risk of injury and death.
For instance
, in boxing, boxers often take powerful blows to knock out his opponent and win.
However
, it
also
 means that they may die or be injured anytime. Lots of fighters after a match are dead or disabled.
Besides
, watching too much dangerous sport programs will affect badly children and teenagers. They will tend to imitate those violent behaviours which can lead to unexpected incidents. On the flip side, others have thoughts that totally go against the above statement. The main reason is simply the money.. According to The Wall Street Journal (WSJ) - a famous American newspaper, the more violent the sport is, the more money will be earned, Specifically, the price of a ticket to see a Muay Thai match is three times as high as that one of a concert ticket. The salary of fighters is beyond the expectations. A fight is able to help them get millions of dollars. Because of the immediate benefits, despite knowing the result of taking
such
 extreme sports, many people are still willing to try. To sum up, banning sports involving violence,
such
 as boxing and martial arts is a controversial problem.
However
, I think that they are should be prohibited since I can see the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
Submitted by Adxam Bultakov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • combat sports
  • glorification of violence
  • impressionable audiences
  • cultural heritage
  • self-discipline
  • sportsmanship
  • media portrayal
  • regulatory measures
  • censorship
  • psychological impact
  • broadcasting regulations
  • watershed timing
  • advocates and opponents
  • ethical considerations
  • economic implications
What to do next:
Look at other essays: