IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

some people say that in all level of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #level #education #schools #universities #time #facts #skills
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The presented three pie charts compromise the amount of Australian people’s after-graduation condition
from
Suggestion
of
 secondary school in three different categories from 1980 to 2000 in percentage unit. Overall,
unemployment rate
Suggestion
the unemployment rate
 in Sweden had lowest record during
this
Linking Words
 period while
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 and employed rates were competing together and the latter one had the upper hand. 1980 was the only year that higher
education
Use synonyms
 data
were exceed
Suggestion
exceeded
 to those of employment with 50% and 40
% respectively
Accept comma addition
%, respectively
, while
unemployment percentage
Suggestion
the unemployment percentage
 was accounting for the minority of proportion with one a tenth percent. After 1980, the population of employed people increased from exactly a half in 1990 to 55% in 2000,
on the other
Linking Words
hand students
Accept comma addition
hand, students
 seeking for
education
Use synonyms
 were experiencing a reduction in
this
Linking Words
 interval. In 2000
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 and unemployment submitted its lowest record with 37% and 8
% respectively
Accept comma addition
%, respectively
, whereas
employment rate
Suggestion
the employment rate
 was
on
Suggestion
at
 the peak with slightly over a half.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: