Many young people today have their own mobile phone and believe it is essential for their lives. Other people dislike mobile phones and think that they are both a nuisance and an unnecessary luxury item. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these two points of view?

#people #phone #lives #dislike #phones #nuisance #luxury #item #two #points

Nowadays as

Accept comma addition

Nowadays, as

most of us know, youths are so much inclined towards using the mobile phones and now it has become a necessity to them. But

on the contrary

, there are people who

does not prefer

Suggestion

do not prefer

using mobile phones as they are more orthodox. They feel it is a waste of money to procure a mobile

phone

. I am one of those who feels that having a mobile

phone

is very significant in

this

era. In the coming paragraphs, I am going to enlighten why do I feel that it is vital to have the mobile

phone

. One of the aspects is that It is very important to stay

connect

Suggestion

connected

to your

network which

Accept comma addition

network, which

can be your friends, family and your employer. The other reason is that we need to cope up with the technology or else we will be left behind. I am going to detail

this

in the coming paragraphs as we go

further

. On one hand, we are spending most of our time at work. We get only a day or two in a week for ourselves and to connect with your friends, but I am sure

that is

not enough. Mobile phones have enabled us to be accessed anywhere and we can

also

send notes or have a chat with our fellow beings anytime of the day. To give you an example, I have a big nuclear family and most of them are spread across the world. Mobile phones have helped me in staying connected with them as it is not viable to see them often.

On the other hand

, everything in

this

world is getting digitized. People do not prefer to go shop physically and rather they are moving to the framework of buying online. Mobile phones

also

expose you to the world of internet which pulls any information you need with just few clicks. For an instance, I help my children every day with their homework. It is difficult for me to keep myself updated as it is not possible to read books on the busy schedule we have. With mobile phones in hand help you solving my children academic problems in fraction of time. To recapitulate, Mobile phones are very useful if it is used wisely. I strongly agree to

this

fact that having mobile

phone

is not a bad decision. We should exactly know where and how to use it.

Submitted by mujadid abbas on Mon Jul 27 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

398 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many young people today have their own mobile phone and believe it is essential for their lives. Other people dislike mobile phones and think that they are both a nuisance and an unnecessary luxury item. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these two points of view?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Some people regard video games as harmless fun , or even as a believe that videos games useful educational tool . Otherse people who play them . In your are having an adverse effect on t opinion , do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits ?

Some people think the government should subsidize fruit and vegetables to make healthy food more affordable. Other argue that the government should tax unhealthy food instead. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The free movement of goods across national borders has long been a controversial issue