Some people argue that technological inventions such as mobile phones are making people socially less interactive . Do u agree or disagree ?

#people #inventions #phones

According to some, modern technologies like cell phones are the reason for an isolated society. I completely agree with

this

statement as I believe that these advancements are bringing a lot of negative impact

Suggestion

the society.

First

of all, there is no doubt that these inventions have brought dramatic changes and made our

life

much easier than we ever anticipated. In the early 90s where mobile phones were just used for making

calls but

Accept comma addition

calls, but

now it is

totally different scenario

Suggestion

a totally different scenario

. They are not only used for making emergency calls, but

also

for surfing internet, listening music, playing games and many more.

Therefore

, it has become an integral part of our

life

. These smart phones are convenient and can even store our office files and other useful documents.

Hence

, people of every age are addicted to using it.

For example

, in the past, children used to play outdoor games, make more friends and had a social

life

. But now they are busy playing video games alone.

Similary

Suggestion

Similarly

, adults used to have more family gatherings, chat with each other as it was the source of

entertaintment

an activity that is diverting and that holds the attention

entertainment

. But now there is no social

life

such

Secondly

, in the

past there

Accept comma addition

past, there

was

Suggestion

were

no social media for communication and entertainment. People had to write letters

for

Suggestion

the loved ones.

This

created a special bond between family members. But with

advent

Suggestion

the advent

of these smart phones, our social values are degraded as well.

Although

we can instantly communicate, we have taken

this

boon as granted. Even during family meetings we rarely share that bond as everyone is busy with their smart phones.

Thus

, these mobile phones

has totally snatched

Suggestion

have totally snatched

our social

life

and made us a victim of loneliness. In conclusion,

although

these smart phones are convenient and made our

life

easier, it

also

has become the main reason

for

Suggestion

the isolated and segregated society.

Submitted by Suvani baral on Tue Jul 28 2020

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

310 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people argue that technological inventions such as mobile phones are making people socially less interactive . Do u agree or disagree ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The workplace nowadays is trying to employ the equal number of females and males. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease the violent crimes in society. What extent Do you Agree or Disagree ??

Do you agree that supermarkets are a threat to small shops and local communities?

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says that trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be build instead. Do you agree or disagree?