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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people argue that technological inventions such as mobile phones are making people socially less interactive . Do u agree or disagree ?

#people #inventions #phones
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According to some, modern technologies like cell phones are the reason for an isolated society. I completely agree with
this
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 statement as I believe that these advancements are bringing a lot of negative impact
in
Suggestion
on
 the society.
First
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 of all, there is no doubt that these inventions have brought dramatic changes and made our
life
Use synonyms
 much easier than we ever anticipated. In the early 90s where mobile phones were just used for making
calls but
Accept comma addition
calls, but
 now it is
totally different scenario
Suggestion
a totally different scenario
. They are not only used for making emergency calls, but
also
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 for surfing internet, listening music, playing games and many more.
Therefore
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, it has become an integral part of our
life
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. These smart phones are convenient and can even store our office files and other useful documents.
Hence
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, people of every age are addicted to using it.
For example
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, in the past, children used to play outdoor games, make more friends and had a social
life
Use synonyms
. But now they are busy playing video games alone.
Similary
Suggestion
Similarly
, adults used to have more family gatherings, chat with each other as it was the source of
entertaintment
an activity that is diverting and that holds the attention
entertainment
. But now there is no social
life
Use synonyms
 as
such
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.
Secondly
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, in the
past there
Accept comma addition
past, there
was
Suggestion
were
 no social media for communication and entertainment. People had to write letters
for
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to
 the loved ones.
This
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 created a special bond between family members. But with
advent
Suggestion
the advent
 of these smart phones, our social values are degraded as well.
Although
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 we can instantly communicate, we have taken
this
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 boon as granted. Even during family meetings we rarely share that bond as everyone is busy with their smart phones.
Thus
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, these mobile phones
has totally snatched
Suggestion
have totally snatched
 our social
life
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 and made us a victim of loneliness. In conclusion,
although
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 these smart phones are convenient and made our
life
Use synonyms
 easier, it
also
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 has become the main reason
for
Suggestion
of
 the isolated and segregated society.
Submitted by Suvani baral on

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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