The diagrams below show the design for a wave-energy machine and its location. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the design for a wave-energy machine and its location.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
This
diagram illustrates how a wave-energy
machine
works and its location. As could be seen
this
machine
has to be located in the sea
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
the bottom side of the
machine
should be underwater, and the above side of it should be in encounter with
airflow
from the sky.
This
machine
has two turbines,
electricity
Correct article usage
an electricity
show examples
generator and some
section
Fix the agreement mistake
sections
show examples
in order that the air could flow in and out. The bottom turbine is in
encounter
Add an article
an encounter
the encounter
show examples
with
this
cycle, which is by the time that the waves enter the
machine
, the water levels and the air flows up which is coloured in red, in the other side the
airflow
from the out
section
that is
coloured in green moves down, and the turbine starts to work by the
airflow
from the above
section
and the bottom
section
. Another turbine works by entering the
airflow
that is
coloured
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
green from the sky, and the
airflow
,
that is
going out of the
machine
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is coloured
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
red. The final product of
this
machine
is the electricity which is generated by an engine.
Submitted by shad va on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words machine, airflow, section with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.

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