IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Nowadays, people are spending more time away from their homes because they spend longer in their work place. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

#people #time #homes #work #place
Most of the people are away from their hometowns because of their job purpose. And one more reason is that they are shifting their families near to the workplace to avoid commute time and to be convenient for their office timings.
Firstly i
Accept comma addition
Firstly, I
Firstly I
 can say if we are staying near to office surroundings, it is easier to balance both work and family.
For example
, in our IT industry maximum of the people is spending more time on the job due to their industry pressures and to fulfil their task so that they are extending hours to meet their deadlines. If we are close to the flat it will be easy to go in late nights.
nHowever every one
Accept comma addition
However, everyone
nHowever everyone
However everyone
However every one
NHowever every one
 needs money to survive in the society.
Although
 we are facing problems if we away from the home town.
for
Suggestion
For
 example, we could not able to meet their relatives and friends due to
this
 it will spoil the friendly relationship among themselves. Gradually, it will disconnect the communication as well. I can
finally
 say that, we should give some space to them to share the feelings and recollect their memories. We have to balance both job and personal life to live happily.
Submitted by chigurupati on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: